Guess what? Avalanches do happen

I am not a winter sports person. I have no desire to ski, snowboard or indulge in any endeavor that involves cold and damp. My idea of recreational pleasure is swimming, snorkelling and gazing upon turquoise seas washing up on a beach.

Oh, and turtles. There must be endearing green sea turtles poking up their heads in those same azure seas.

So, why do I live where I do, you might be prompted to ask. Because, I guess this is where I live and people pay me money to do whatever work will enable me to bask down among the sheltering palms.

None of the foregoing is apropos of anything much other than to introduce the perennial winter topic in the chilly part of the world, which is: Morons ski and snowboard out-of-bounds, get zapped by avalanches or lost or maimed and expect society to spend great sums of money extricating them from the results of their sheer stupidity and self-indulgence.

Screw those people, I say.

I read in today’s local paper that a kid got hit by an avalanche on our local ski hill (which is a big, world-class one) and ended up having both legs broken. He was snowboarding out-of-bounds. To him I say: "Hard cheese and let that be a lesson to you. Be grateful it wasn’t worse."

Last week in a tragic incident two skiers from Quebec indulging in winter sports in the hinterland of this province were causes celebres in an awful story about yet another incident of RCMP failure to do what they are commissioned to do, which is to serve the public weal of this country. Anyway, the couple was in avalanche country. They were another example of folks cavorting in the fluffy white in an out-of-bounds area, and the woman ended up dying of exposure. Awful stuff, and the failure of the constabulary to heed an SOS stamped out in the snow is a disgrace at all levels. Yet mitigating this to a degree is that they were out-of-bounds. Why were they, who were not even familiar with that perilous turf, out-of-bounds?

And, if these idiots don’t get hit by avalanches, they get lost. And searches are mounted. Highly expensive searches in which the SAR volunteers put themselves at considerable risk. Sometimes they are successfully rescued. Sometimes it’s too late. But, the final point again is, always, they were out-of-bounds.

So look, egomaniacal boneheads who think you are the most adept skiers and/or boarders on the planet, temper that testosterone and realize those winter sports boundaries are there for a reason. If you choose to flout them then I say I don’t really care so much what happens to you.

But, here is my modest proposal. Those who venture out-of-bounds and get lost and must be rescued should have to bear the entire cost of the search and rescuer operation.

Those who consistently violate the out-of-bounds regulations should be banned from not only the winter sports facility from which they were originally booted out of, but also all others North America wide. Their pictures should be posted on the Internet and all other winter sports emporia should be notified.

You want to ski or board, idiots? Then good luck in finding a place to do so.