Modest proposal to end a violent crime wave

My city of origin, Vancouver, has become a bloodbath lately. Needless to say this is not the sort of news to cause a swelling of civic pride or to delight the chamber of commerce. In the last two weeks literally not a day has gone by without somebody being mowed down by one of the filthy drug gangs that has been festering in the place in the last few years. Drug gangs that are thriving thanks to inadequate policing and pathetic courts handing out lame-ass sentences for evil people.

Two days ago a young mother with her four-year-old son in the back seat was ‘executed’ at a stoplight. Needless to say, as tragic as it was, and despite the fact the kid will be traumatized for the rest of his life, Mom was ‘connected.’ You ain’t driving a big pearly-white Caddy in your early 20s unless you are connected. ‘Live by the sword, die by the sword, etc.’ I mean, it’s sad, but come on.

For some reason best known to them, governments at all levels don’t seem to be rising to the occasion. Oh yes, they are “decrying” violence, but they are doing effectively nothing to address the situation in any tangible way. Why is this? Do we wait until we become Mexico before we get off our sorry asses and do something?

Well, it has been suggested that maybe it’s a waiting game. If we let these bastards keep wasting one another then eventually they’ll all be gone. It’s a nice idea, but doesn’t work. Didn’t happen in Chicago in the ‘20s and ‘30s and won’t happen in Vancouver in the latter part of the first decade of the 21st Century. I mean, I like the idea of gangsters killing gangsters. At least it gets rid of some of them, and we can’t count on the courts to do it. We know that.

What will really work is for us to actually countenance the idea of getting tough. And to get tough we have to accept that gangsters are another order of creation and should not have the same civil rights as the rest of them.

Here’s my modest proposal:
- deny bail for anyone changed with a gun crime. You’re packing heat, even if you’re not firing it and haven’t been so convicted, you don’t get bail.
- If you are convicted of a gun crime you automatically get a dime. That’s right, 10-years for a fist offence, and that is even if nobody died.
- If you take a life in a gun crime you get life – full life – no hope of parole, ever, regardless of what sort of a model prisoner you might be, regardless of how many jailhouse programs you take. You are going away for keeps.

Of course we could always bring back capital punishment for such transgressors. But if you suggest that you get everybody’s knickers in a twist. It has been said that capital punishment is no deterrent to crime, and that is probably true. On the other hand, it does effectively get rid of some pretty awful elements in society.

But, and it’s a big one, what if you hang the wrong guy (or girl, we’re equal opportunity in our punishments)? It has happened and it could happen again.

Anyway, if we brought back the ‘long drop’ I don’t think we would be imaginative enough in our categorization of which crimes and individuals warranted summary execution. In the early part of the 19th Century there were more than 50 crimes that could lead to an appointment with the rope. Over the years the rules were tightened up and eventually, for those jurisdictions that have retained it, only murder (and sometimes treason) remain.

In my esteem this is not sufficient.

Sometimes if I’m feeling piqued I’d like to see the following follow the ‘dead man walking’ parade:
- investment fraudsters
- Ponzi scheme perps
- A whole lotta banking execs
- Reps of the petroleum companies who deny there is gouging or price-fixing (an act of penance could save them from the gibbet if they promise to stop lying to the consuming public)
- Airport security brownshirts

And if I’m really feeling cranky I might consider the fact the world would be better off without:
- Drivers who don’t activate turn indicators until they are actually in the turn.
- Drivers who lollygag when the light has turned green and I am behind them.
- People who take phone calls and chat with the person on the other end when I am in their office.
- Neighboring homeowners who operate chainsaws on a sunny Sunday afternoon when I am on my patio.
- Parents that let children run wild in stores or coffee joints.
- Store clerks that are more interested in chatting live or on the phone with their friends than they are in serving me.

Oh, there are more. Many more, but I’m feeling in a good mood today so shall refrain from extending further.