Friday, July 06, 2007

"This morning I looked out at the world and found it wanting, so I went back to sleep until it improved'

At various periods in my life I have kept a journal. They say it’s good for a body to keep an account of his thoughts, wants, needs, desires, and (tough for a guy) ‘feelings.’

For the past eleven years I have been fairly consistent with my journaling, and rarely go as long as a week without giving at least a summary of what is going on. I was advised to start the venture by a counselor I was seeing, and who was helping me to get rid of some of the angst and self-loathing that the breakup of my marriage had evoked. It was good advice.

“Be absolutely candid,” she said. “Write whatever you’re wrestling with and be totally honest. Don’t censor yourself at all.”

Great, that meant I could write dirty stuff, too.

What I found, however, was that dirty stuff was easy (isn’t it always?), but feelings were really difficult. I almost felt like I was intruding on myself be putting down assorted items of ‘honesty.’ But, the advice was well founded. I found myself exploring areas of ‘me’ that I’d never truly looked into. Why did I do that? Why did I think that? Eventually it became like a jigsaw puzzle in which you start out with a mass of meaningless bits but then, as you persevere, a picture begins to form and take genuine shape. That was what began to happen with me via my journal. It was like home-brewed psychotherapy and ultimately produced a number of ‘aha’ and ‘of course’ moments.

Now, I periodically look back at earlier entries from eight or nine years ago and can either feel good because I have moved on, or feel like shit because I seem to be stuck in a particular area.

I keep my journal on disks, but I also print it out. In theory anybody could go into the home office and pull it out, read it, and come to the conclusion that I am maybe beyond hope. So be it. That is what a journal is all about. After all, Samuel Pepys was pretty candid about his desire to bonk their pretty li’l French maid, so if Pepys wasn’t shy, why should I be.

Would I want somebody to read my journals? Absolutely not. To me it would be like being intruded upon in the can; just not a situation open to public purview. We all have our private selves.

Is a journal the same thing as a diary? Probably. It’s just that diary (Pepys notwithstanding) sounds kind of 11-year-old girl, sort of Little Lulu – you know, one of those little pink tomes with a lock and key and in which each entry starts: “Dear Diary …”

When I was about 17 I actually started to keep a ‘diary’. I still have it. Once in a while I’ll look at it, and it’s a bit like exploring an alien universe, on the one hand. But, on the other, there are entries that are chillingly reminiscent of much more recent journal entries.

“Today, when I went to my locker, Susie Schwartz smiled at me and said hi. I didn’t think she knew I existed. I think I’m in love with her.”

An entry from today might be: “Went to the supermarket and that delicious Melanie was working my till. Made a point of going through hers. Such a nice young woman. Must dispel such thoughts.”

See, other than the grown-up word ‘dispel’ it’s not all that different. By the way, that wasn’t a ‘real’ entry, but it wasn’t all that far removed from reflections of the odd weak moment.

On a final note, I have found my journal can be helpful in some of my other writing, especially in my odd foray into fiction where I want to set mood and explore emotions. I think it's a good thing to do and will likely keep doing it. "The unexamined life is not worth living," said Socrates. I think maybe he was right.

So, do you keep a journal? Does it work for you?

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13 Comments:

Blogger jmb said...

I've always thought my life was too uninteresting for a diary. As for my thoughts and feelings, I think I am too scared sometimes to actually articulate them. As for someone else getting hold of my diary or journal and reading it, well as you say, not to be contemplated.
My blog is as close as I have ever been to a journal and there I am very circumspect.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Janice Thomson said...

I think my poetry is my journal...otherwise I don't keep one.
I tend to explore different areas with poetry but usually keep it fairly light so as not to offend my readers. Your counselor was a wise woman in suggesting this to you and it is nice to be able to go back and see how far you have come.

6:08 PM  
Blogger dragonflyfilly said...

i have journals from away back, (since my daughter was about 4 years old) - they are locked up and sealed, and maybe one day, after i have died, when the Ex. of my estate (whoo, big deal) has passed them on to my daughter, maybe she will read them, be horrified, delighted, curious, etc. and who knows what she will do with them! They include my dreams (i.e. those night-time excurings into the nether-rhelms), as well as my reflections of my day to day stuff, all my anxst and joys!

i agree with you, i don't want people to read my journals now.i don't even know that i really want someone to read them when i die. But what to do. I don't want to burn them just yet, because sometimes i go and check them out when i need to know something i have forgotten. So i guess it will be up to the person who accesses them when i die. Do they read them, or burn them...leaving the choice to them is sort of an exercise in letting go ... letting go of my anxiety of what people will think of me...

well, give my regards to Melanie *chuckle*, and make sure the only melons you squeeze are the Honey Dews, or Cantalopes.

cheers for now,
pj

12:34 PM  
Blogger Wendy C. said...

When I was in high school I kept a journal until the day my girl friend, Charlene, came to school crying because her mother had found her journal and READ it! She knew her mother had read it because her mother had written comments as she made her way through it! I went home that day, convinced that this type of unseemly parental behavior might spread to my house, and destroyed my journals! To this day, I feel inhibited to write candidly - even if just to myself.

8:14 PM  
Blogger noneofyourbusiness said...

Ian, I keep a journal ... and it's a "place of refuge" for me. It's where I go when I really need to unload, and I know that no one is going to see me crumble ... or rage ... or worry ... or simply regroup.

I've kept one sporadically throughout my life, but haven't ever been as faithful to it as I have been in the last several years.

And I agree - having someone find and read my journal would be a lot like having someone intrude into my most private and sacred sanctum.

Excellent subject, Ian ... thank you!

9:08 PM  
Blogger Voyager said...

I kept a teenage diary, full of gushing and angst and what passed for deep thoughts at 14. I cringe when I read it now. Now I write travel journals whan I travel, so I can record the new feelings, new foods, new people. In between travels, no, except what gets written here. I would say I am not very introspective, but then wasn't it Mark Twain who said, "Travel is the greatest form of introspection?"
V.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

I have never kept a journal..My blog is as close to one..but still have not fully opened up as much as I would like.

Maybe one day I'll start to journal.

6:04 AM  
Blogger Belizegial said...

I have kept an electronic journal which got partially destroyed when my harddrive collapsed. Since then, I have learnt to do backups. It helps to write down what's happening in the moment and then go back to revisit.

Good luck with your latest book.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Ian,
Keeping a journal of one's daily activities, thoughts and feelings are very helpful to discover oneself. Was it Socrates who said "know thyself"?
It is an inward journey to explore one's inner self that would sometimes be imperceptible to ordinary perceptions.

You are indeed a professional writer. Only one would have the discipline to keep and accomplish a daily journal for many years.

Very interesting and enlightening posts. I will be reading more of them as I return to browse your blog again.

God bless you with the very best in life.

1:09 PM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

no journal, no diary... maybe i should start?

when the ex left bc with our 3 kids [yes, i signed court documents permitting same], in no time at all i was depressed and suicidal... but sought help

7 1/2 years later, she had a stroke [still paralyzed on right side, unable to speak, 10 years on]... i got a call from my older daughter: i want my daddy... i've been in nova scotia since

sorry to bore you with my crap :(

i agree with janice, good counsel

1:27 PM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

I never liked keeping a journal. But I guess my blog comes close.

4:51 PM  
Blogger heiresschild said...

i kept a diary when i was a young girl and in school. i left them at my mother's house when i moved out, and i'm pretty sure she found them, read them, and must have destroyed them because they're no longer there. we've never talked about it though, and i have no desire to discuss it with her, even now. there was some pretty "hot stuff" written in there though.

i do keep a journal. mine is more of a spiritual journal, talking about things that God has done and is doing in my life.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Bibi said...

Very good Ian. I've kept journals on and off all of my life. It's very therapeutic as you said; and I too look back at some issues, pleased to have moved on, and at others that keep circling around.

I have the past 14 years worth boxed up and addressed to my brother ... I don't want anyone looking at them, and he's agreed to destroy them if I die before him! Morbid, huh?

11:50 AM  

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