The mother of all memes

Leslie at recently discovered and fascinatingly eclectic Leslie’s Blog tagged me to do this writers Q. & A. I suppose since I’ve earned a living at writing since the late 1970s I do qualify as a writer of sorts.
My writing is of the journalistic sort, as well as business writing, website writing and writing for anybody who is prepared to exchange shekels for my labours, or talents such as they might be.

In that I’m a writing whore, I guess, because I will exchange a service for pay. I mean, there are limits, but basically I’ll take on whatever sits agreeably with me – just like a high-class callgirl.
I have never, however, had a book published. I have written three manuscripts that I believe are publishable, and have one off at a couple of publishers right now.

While awaiting word doesn’t leave me dancing like a 4-year-old who has to pee, I’d still like to know so I could send it off again. And then maybe send off my other MSs.

I also paint as a sideline hobby, with no intention of either publicly showing them or trying to sell them to anybody. Not right now, in any case.

I have written virtually all my adult life. As a former secondary English teacher, I guess writing is a kind of natural for me. I tried to write a novel when I was 18. I still have a couple of bits of it. It’s genuinely shitty, and naïve. I also dabbled in poetry when I was in university, mainly to impress females whom I wanted to impress with my sensitive romanticism, and I wanted to impress them for all the obvious reasons.

Anyway, I shall now tackle the Q&A part of this meme and see where I get with it.
Be forewarned, by the way, somebody is going to get tagged at the end of this:

What is the last thing you wrote? My manuscript called Growing Up Absurd in the Burbs, about my childhood and youth in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby. I also wrote a review of the book Juvie, written after an interview with the author, and for New Year’s my localized annual rip-off of Esquire’s Dubious Achievement Awards, but applied to the local scene. At present I am sweating over a complex report about homelessness in my community, and have also promised to write, for the Victoria Times Colonist, a story about the Community Drug Strategy Committee, of which I am a charter member.

Was it any good? I think they all were, or will be, wonderfully fine. I have to tell myself that or I would lose all confidence and be unable to keep going at what is often a thankless task.

What’s the first thing you ever wrote that you still have? I already mentioned my pathetic 18-yeaer-old ‘novel.’ The first thing I had published was the beginning piece of my long-running column and it was a dissertation on Fonzie from Happy Days and how he didn’t resemble any self-respecting hood of my experience. He didn’t smoke, he didn’t drink, he didn’t steal, he respected his multitude of girlfriends, he didn’t brawl, he never went to juvenile detention. He wore a leather jacket. He was a day-tripper.

Write poetry? As I said

Angsty poetry? Actually I wrote three rather good, I thought, bitter pieces after my breakup with my second wife. I still have them and think they have merit..

Favorite genre of writing I assume the question means my own. Probably humor, which isn’t as easy as it might seem. I also like writing features and profiles. I actually got to know Wendy by writing a feature on her and a program she was running. There was method to my madness. It paid off in all areas. Right now, when I have a moment, I am working seriously for the first time on a novel. Fiction is a new venture for me. As for reading, I read little fiction. I think I read enough fiction when I was a literature student and teacher. I read true crime books, bios, travel pieces (I worship at the shrine of Bill Bryson, and also envy the hell out of him. But, I do have a personal email from him, that I’ve kept. And his email wasn’t even a response to a fan letter, but a response to an observation he’d made in a newspaper article), and war correspondent journals.

Most fun character you ever created I have actual characters in the novel I’m attempting. My problem is my central character who I am increasingly finding to be an amoral asshole. So, he’s not much fun, though his paramour is, for a time. Otherwise, I have never really created many characters.

Most annoying character you ever created See above, my ‘hero’ in my novel.

Best plot you ever created A beginning, a middle and an end. That to me is a plot for either fiction or non-fiction. As for my novel writing, I have a sort of plot happening as it goes along but have no idea at all as to how it’s going to turn out. The end part is, as the King of Siam was wont to say, a “puzzlement.”

Coolest plot twist you ever created I’ve suddenly thrown a murder into a tale of blatant philandering, decadence and torrid sex, but I haven’t yet decided who has actually been murdered, and why.

How often do you get writers block? Probably no more frequently than other writers, but certainly no less. And it can be devastating. That’s always when I want to go to Hawaii and just say fuck it. If Hawaii isn’t possible, then I take time out to paint and that seems to revitalize me. But, writer’s block should never be taken lightly. It effectively killed poor Douglas Adams of Hitchhikers’ Guide the Galaxy. I used to cringe at his brilliance, but then I learned his brutal reality and I was less envious.

Write fan fiction? I have no idea what that is..

Do you type or write by hand? Always type. Have so since the beginning. I find it very difficult to compose longhand. I began with a typewriter and literally wore a couple of them out. Now, of course, I use a computer keyboard. While I’m a bit of a Luddite about a lot of so-called hi-tech, I love my computer and would happily burn incense at a shrine devoted to it. About two years ago my faithful and wonderful old Mac had to be retired, and I am now using an irritating PC laptop. But, for all its flaws and illogic (just like the commercials with the two guys illustrate), it serves me pretty well. Someday though, I’ll get a Mac laptop and be in computer heaven again.

Do you save everything you write? I save way too much, probably, and it’s a wrench to part with stuff I’ve written. It’s not vainglory, I just think I might need it someday. I still have masses of stuff on the Zip-drive of that aforementioned Mac..

Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you have abandoned it? Oh sure. If it was a worthy idea to begin with, it’s probably worthy of a revisit. Old ideas are like former lovers. You cherished them for a reason, so they must always be respected. Sometimes, in truth, however, you shouldn't revisit.

What’s your favorite thing that you’ve written? An eight-part series on the drug scene in my community. It was received very favourably and earned me a government award as the top crime-prevention writer of 1999. The series also brought about some favourable changes in my community and elsewhere, and that was what really counted.

What’s everyone else’s favorite story that you’ve written? I get a lot of very positive strokes about my blog, and I love all my blogger friends dearly. I had popular columns both here and in England for a year back in the early 1980s. For whatever reason my UK column was very popular.

Do you ever show people your work? Well yes, since I write for the public. For work in progress, however, I only share it with Wendy and a couple of very trusted friends.

Did you ever write a novel? Like I said. Hmm, department of redundancy department.

Ever written romance or teen angsty drama? When I was an angst-ridden teen. I no longer give a sweet goddamn about teen angst. It’ll pass, kids, trust me. If it doesn’t, then get help. Lots of it.

What’s your favorite setting for your characters? I have no favorite setting. Probably the local scene more than anyplace else. For fiction it must be a place that I know. I couldn't write about Moscow since I've never been there.

How many writing projects are you working on right now? I think I covered this ground higher up.

Do you want to write for a living? I do write for a living. Not a great living, but a living nonetheless.

Have you ever won an award for your writing? A number of them. My first was newspaper columnist of the year for Canada, I also won British Columbia columnist of the year. There are more, but it starts to sound a bit precious to list them. I can’t be that good or I’d be richer. Show me the money and I’ll do what it takes. As Dorothy Parker once said, the three sweetest words in the English language to a writer are: “Check in mail.”

Ever written something in script or play format? No, but I was going to do parts of the script for a documentary for a filmmaker friend/work associate. But, she was dealing with some personal crises and the thing fell through. I'd actually like to try a play or a script.

What are your five favorite words? The aren’t my favorites, but the ones too often used are not appropriate for polite company or being presented to the Queen. A female friend of mine used to call fancy women’s undies frou-froux, I rather liked that. It was both sexy and cute.

Do you ever write based on yourself? All writers write based on themselves. How could I or any writer do otherwise? We as individuals are the only folk we truly know. I’ve thought I ‘knew’ assorted wives, but boy was I mistaken. I do try to keep myself out of my writing, but find that impossible. I emote the way I do. I don’t know what happens within somebody else when they emote. I’ve tried to give myself challenges like creating a character who murders somebody. But, I’ve never murdered anybody, so my depiction would have to be false. If you’re male, try writing about lovemaking from a female perspective, if you’re female, try to do it from the man’s point of view. Not easy and invariably false unless you’re a transsexual.

What character have you created that most resembles yourself? Same as I said. It’s all about me.

Where do you get your ideas for your other characters? They say all characters, of either sex or any ethnicity are really variations on ourselves. They’re likely right.

Do you ever write based on your dreams? I’ve heard that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was based on a dream of Stevenson’s, and Coleridge’s Xanadu came from an opium dream, but I think most dreams are boring and stupid except to the person who had the dream.

Do you favor happy endings, sad endings, or cliff hangers? I’m a romantic, so I am a sap for happy endings. That great weepy Ghost always hit me in two ways. I’m happy Sam was able to communicate with his love, finally, But then he had to go away, and I get all misty.

Have you ever written based on an artwork you’ve seen? I’ve written about artwork I’ve seen, so I guess so.

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write? Well, spellcheck is a wonderful device, but I’m pretty anal about both, and ungrammatical stuff drives me berserk.

Ever write something entirely in chatspeak? Hardly. What a detestable concept.

Entirely in L337? I don’t know what this is. And I don’t want to know – ever.

Does music help you write? I love music, but I rarely have it playing when I write. It breaks my concentration. Music, however, can inspire writing. I wrote a piece on tragic cellist Jacqueline DuPre after listening to, and getting emotionally enchanted by Elgar’s Cello Concerto, Miss DuPre’s signature piece.

Quote something you’ve written “All barmaids from eighteen to sixty-five have cleavages. But, the cleavage should not, and indeed must not be construed lewdly. It is merely part of a general bearing that suggests the ideal blending of the bountiful earth-mother with the subtle eroticism of that which may be admired but not touched. Sort of a vestal Pam Anderson.”

Now I must tag. Leslie didn’t say how many I should tag. But, I will suggest that if you like this – and it’s actually a lot of fun and really helps you to explore your own creativity – give it a shot, even if you don’t run it as a blog. As for my taggees, I am going to suggest Kimber at Wolfgirl. She’s a published sci-fi fantasy novelist among other accomplishments in the literary realm, and I’d be fascinated to see how she responds to the questions. Dumdad at The Other Side of Paris is a scribe much as I, though his credentials are more impressive than my own, in my esteem. He has trodden in the paths of some powerful journalistic figures during his career and I want to know more about him and his works. See, this is all about me. Finally (I’m going to stick with three taggees) Jody at A Closer Look. Jody is a brilliant working journalist whom I have known forever and ever, and she is a scribe whom I respect beyond measure. I hope she’ll be prepared to give this a shot.

As for others, as I say, please give this a try, even for your own pleasure. If you are a writer-aspirant (and many of you are) it will tell you where you are in the realm and maybe where you want to go. Bonne chance.