No, this is more serious than just 'kids at play'

Somebody with more cynicism, not to mention ill-spirit than I can muster has already suggested we mount an Internet ‘death watch’ for Lindsay Lohan (pictured here in yesterday's mugshot) and set a date for her terminal burnout. A sad thought, but not beyond comprehension considering the recent misbehaviors of the young, and purportedly ‘talented’ girl. Such a waste, such a waste.

Anyway, if you have been away from the planet you may have missed the news that Ms. Lohan, a few days after departing ‘rehab’ (again) was busted (again) for DUI and possession of blow (again). Hmm. Something doesn’t seem to be working for a person who is much more to be pitied than condemned.

Oh, she must be condemned for driving while pissed and putting others at risk. Such an act is inexcusable no matter what the mitigating factors. And, in this case, there didn’t seem to be any mitigating factors other than the fact that – gasp! – dare I say it? She is an addict! That’s not a judgment call, it’s a statement of the facts based on her behavior.

Her enabling supporters – like her mother – may deny until they give themselves a hernia, but young Ms Lohan is absolutely no different from a run-of-the-mill street junkie, except she has more money and more well-meaning but hopeless people to run interference for her.

If such people really want to save Lindsay’s life (not to mention career) they should reappraise their behaviors.

OK – so in this I am going to put on my addictions counselor hat – yep, it still fits. And state a few realities based on what I observed during my time toiling in the field.

Addicts, who can be very charming people, are the following things:

Liars: They lie about anything and everything. The cliché in the rehab business suggests that any addict is lying as long as his or her lips are moving. A former colleague took it a step further and used to say: “I know you’re lying even if your lips aren’t moving. Your body language and eyes give it away.” They will even lie when they’re caught in the act.

Disloyal: They will turn on anybody or anything if it serves to fuel their addiction. I had clients who stole from their parents. I had clients who stole from their spouses. I even had older clients who stole from their children. That is, they ripped off the people who only desired to help them. The fact that they stole from the rehab I ran goes without saying. And don't expect any gratitude from people who are still using. You won't get it.

Very sad: Despite the bullshit from those who maintain their wild lifestyle is part of an image and they’re having fun, I’ve never met an addict who wasn’t deeply depressed, guilt-ridden, shame-ridden and potentially suicidal. Not 'all' overdoses are accidental. It’s a horrible carousel (with no apparent destination) for any person to be on.

Filled with denial: All addicts (including alcoholics) downplay the extent of their involvement with their substance of choice. Astute doctors, when asking a person how much alcohol he or she consumes on a daily basis, know to take the figure (which is always low) – “Oh, I dunno One or two drinks, I guess.” – and multiply that figure by three, at least. Drug abusers will attest that “Yeah, I only snort (or smoke) but never use a needle. Those people are real addicts.”

So, if I were in charge of the life of Lindsay Lohan, here is what I would advise as a means of dealing with her. And for her family -- if they don’t want her to be a tragic member of the club that includes Joplin, Hendrix, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith and ever so many others -- they must get real and consider the following:

1. A ‘real’ intervention: Not one of those pissy-assed little interventions they’ve already mounted against Lindsay, but a no-holds-barred, take-no-prisoners intervention as in “You do this or you are entirely on your own!” The A&E series Intervention (which is actually quite realistic) captures the sort of intervention I mean.

2. Get her into a genuine treatment facility: Not one of those bullshit Hollywood Hills spas, but the real goods, where she will get proper treatment and nobody, but nobody will cater to her “Hollywoodness”. The Hazelden Institute in Minnesota is world standard and it has done well by many of its clients. There are others just as worthy. As horror novelist Stephen King wrote in a recent article on the so-called rehabs checked into by, oh I don’t know, Lindsay, or Paris, or Britney, that he (he makes no bones about being a recovering alcoholic) went to one that was essentially furnished in early Dachau. I don’t remember if those were his exact words, but you get the drift.

3. Get her into a genuine 12-step program and link her with such worthies in recovery as Anthony Hopkins, Robert Downey Jr. or Eric Clapton – no, not Nick Nolte, as much as I love him as an actor.

4. Stop buying her bullshit and stop protecting her: Let her face the judgment of the courts and tell her to eat her punishment. She has earned it. Then – just maybe – she might actually make some progress. The key to success for any addict is to embrace humility. She has shown no sign of that at all.

There are few guarantees in this life except this: Any person who persists with an addiction will either end up in hospital, end up in jail, die -- or get well. The last option is up to the addict. I hope Ms. Lohan chooses the latter course. It works.