I want to be a paperback writer
I’ve always wanted to write a novel. You know, a piece of fiction with dialogue, plot, action, theme, torrid sexual encounters, love, adventure, humor, fantasy, stark terror, violence, suspense, and all the other elements that make up for a smashing good read.The manuscript I’ve mentioned here before, the one that (I think, hope, pray) has been completed, except for the final edit (for now), is a work of non-fiction (oh yeah, there is a certain amount of hyperbole and aggrandizement of situations, let alone false-memory syndrome), and is actually more of reminiscence. It doesn’t have a plot, let alone violence, suspense, sex (well, a little bit), and all the things I just mentioned in context of novels.
But, I’m thinking I’d like to turn my hand to fiction. As I said before, despite the fact I was an English major and taught senior high school English for a number of years, and have read most of the so-called ‘classics’ of fiction – a state of grace is having reached an age when one never has to read Moby Dick again – I currently read very little fiction, and haven’t for many years.
Primarily, in my recreational reading I do true crime, travel (I worship at the respective shrines of Bill Bryson and Paul Theroux), biography – somewhat ironically I just picked up a bio of Patricia Highsmith, who wrote The Talented Mr. Ripley, among others. In other words, I’ll read about Ms Highsmith's strange (real) life but am yet to read any of her novels (loved the movie, though). I also read true adventure, spirituality, and much more. But, rarely fiction.
My problem with fiction is that it’s not (in the purest sense) true. It’s the product of somebody’s imagination. Yet, so was Hamlet, and I cherish every word Shakespeare ever penned, and so were Huckleberry Finn, and David Copperfield, and Twain and Dickens are also to be worshipped and the world would be a much poorer place without such aforementioned writers of fiction.
So, going back to my original premise, I want to write a work of fiction. I want to get over my hurdle that has resulted in many aborted manuscripts of novels and short stories over the years.
I’ve worked out some great plot lines and general themes, and I think they would fly if handled by a John Irving, Wally Lamb or Jonathan Franzen, but not so much by me.
Where I lose my groove is when it comes to dialogue. My dialogue looks dorky, stilted and false. It doesn’t look like real people sound. I don’t know why that is. I’m relatively eloquent in real life, and cherish good conversation. But, I have great difficulty reproducing it. My characters end up terminally inarticulate like loveable boob Joey on Friends: “So, how’s it goin’?” being the calibre of my reproduced verbal exchanges.
"So, Martha, how's it goin'?"
"Good, Ralph. And you?"
"Just great. Wanna have sex?"
"Oh -- er -- OK. Why not?"
When the dialogue factor becomes crucial is when I attempt to create a verbal situation around either love or sex. I mean, I have had such conversations at such times – and some of them are gems in my memory bank, easily recalled. Yet, if I put them down on a computer screen they come out either gratuitously dirty, childish, or really, really embarrassingly awkward and seem to say more about me than I necessarily want to share with somebody else.
“Your character wanted to do what?? Ooh, ick.”
“OK – forget you read that. I’m sorry. I don’t really think that way. Really I don’t.”
Anyway, I recently started my 2,367th fiction manuscript and I have managed to work out 12 pages of it – I’m actually starting my second chapter. The dorkiness factor hasn’t yet come to dominate (demanding abandonment), but I’ve also been avoiding dialogue like the plague.
And, it is based on a real-life semi-autobiographical element of the writer's life. Maybe that'll work better. I'll keep you posted, but don't reserve space on your bookshelves just yet.
Labels: dorky dialogue, the creative act, writing fiction
posted by Ian Lidster at
11:26 AM
12 Comments:
hi ian, i think first, you underestimate yourself and your writing skills and abilities, and second, i think you're too hard on yourself. you're one of the best writers here in blogland, and i think your novel would make for good and interesting reading. i know the people who comment here think so too. so, after all this, there is a space in my bookcase just waiting for the novel of ian (whatever your last name is).
Let me know when this novel gets releases so I can pick up a copy. :)
Ditto Heiresschild Ian...I would love to read one of your books. And may I say what exceedingly good taste you have in authors...I too admire and cling to every word Shakespeare has ever written.
I am trying to track down a series of books by Dickens that I found in the attic of a hired helps home when I was a child. When he passed away he deeded the house to my parents and out of curiosity one day I opened these old boxes. They had never been opened before but even as a child I knew this was a treasure that lay before me. They were leather-bound books, onion skin paper and gold edging.
My dad is in an old folks home now and no one seems to know where those books are. I hope I can find them.
I do remember reading 'Little Nell' from this series and quoting a passage from it to my mother, wherein Little Nell had died. The following six paragraphs all started with the same sentence: 'Little Nell had been dead for one week now' and 'Little Nell had been dead for two weeks now' and so on and so on. My mother had replied in a somewhat caustic tone that 'Little Nell must be pretty darn smelly by now!' And that was all that was ever said about my find.
Ian: The best dialogue I've read in *years* was in Mary Lawson's "Crow Lake", a first time fiction author at 55! I suggest you take a peek. It's a fabulous book, even if you don't normally read fiction. There's a good review at January magazine: http://januarymagazine.com/fiction/crowlake.html
Good for you for pursuing your fiction writing dreams. The dialogue thing can be a challenge because so often, the way we say things in real life isn't that good when you put it down on paper.
I'm six chapters into my own novel and I'm realizing that I need to create a regular writing schedule a la Walter Moseley's latest book. I also find I struggle with with getting enough sense of place in my fiction. I just want to jump right to what folks are doing and saying.
Can't wait to see how the writing thing progresses for you as time goes by.
What happens if you talk the dialogue out loud, to see if it "sounds" normal. Then it might feel less awkward in print. I always find when I'm readng that slang and attempts to actually capture the pronuniction Like "goin'" is more distracting to me than anything else. But that's may be just me. I also think its really true that if you can put some elemen of yourself into it it sounds more real. Of course, now that you've told us that, it will be hard not to wonder if they are things you've actually done or said!
"....gratuitously dirty, childish, or really, really embarrassingly awkward...."
That sounds like it would make a GREAT sex scene! Who wouldn't love to read that? No soft music, no romantic lighting, just a couple of characters who tell it like it is and stumble through an uncomfortable field of emotional barbwire. I don't think you have to worry, Ian -- just write, and people will read it. I know, I will! :)
I second Kim's opinion: the bit about the awkward sex scene and the bit about reading your book.
Me, I've got a few rather bad attempts at writing fiction stored away in drawers. I like the IDEA of writing fiction, but truth is I seem to be better at reading it.
Although I go through phases where all I read is NON-fiction, I always come back to the absolute joy of a good flight of fancy novel.
May your novel soar! (Onto the shelves of the bookstores, that is.) :)
Lordy how I love Bill Bryson. The man is the god of travel writing...
As for your novel, maybe you have trouble writing fiction because, in your words: My problem with fiction is that it’s not (in the purest sense) true.
Maybe you're not a novelist at heart because you prefer reality to the "product of somebody's imagination".
How's that for pop psych!
go for it. not all fiction is dialogue heavy. :)
all good stuff ian, good luck with it ... the only way to go is to jump in
forget preconceived negative notions of your abilities...we are always our own worst critics... you'll do very well
suggestion: the screenwriter's bible, dave trottier
excellent for any storyteller, no matter what 'type' or genre
LOL, very funny! When I read one of my friend's many novels (national bestseller) I kept seeing bits of her in the protagonist ... and I skip read the sex dialog entirely. There are some things you just don't care to know about your close friends! ;-O
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