Something evil is afoot (sorry) here

Gabriola Island. Site of Foot #3

They found Foot #5 yesterday. In case you aren’t aware of this utterly bizarre tale from coastal BC, one that has stumped (no tasteless pun intended here) cops, the public, and assuredly beachcombers, it is this one. As follows is a news account of the latest pedal finding:

DELTA, B.C. -- A fifth foot -- this one a left one -- has washed up on an island in the mouth of B.C.'s Fraser River.
Delta Police Const. Sharlene Brooks said the human left foot was spotted floating in the water off Westham Island on Monday morning by two walkers.
"The [left] foot was encased in a shoe and was partly submerged in the water," Brooks said.
In previous months, four other feet have washed up on B.C. shores.
On May 22, one foot was found by a person walking on Kirkland Island, an uninhabited piece of land in the south arm of the Fraser River, just a kilometre from Westham Island.
Last August, two feet encased in shoes washed up on Gabriola and Jedediah islands, just south of Quadra in the Strait of Georgia. And in February, another severed foot was found on nearby Valdes Island.
All the previous finds had been right feet, found within about 95 kilometres of each other. Each one has been in a sneaker.
None of them appear to have been forcibly severed from their legs. And the first two were size 12.

Now, what could be better than a nice stroll on the beach? You saunter along at tide line just to see what you can find: shells, agates, if you’re very lucky one of those beautiful green Japanese fishing floats that still wash up, albeit rarely.

“What’d you find, Ralph?”

“Oh, you know, some pretty shells, some very cool rocks, foot, fishing float.”

“Foot with sneaker?”

“What else? They’re always encased in sneakers. Right one this time, about a size 12, I’d guess. So, a guy’s foot or a very large woman.”

“Damn, I wish we’d find something interesting sometime.

But, seriously. This is not something out of science fiction, and it is thoroughly distressing to law enforcement folks. I ask you, what can the explanation be?

- industrial accident? OK, but five industrial accidents, none of which were reported?

- Localized version on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre? No such crimes have been unearthed.

- Hospital somewhere in the heartland just a little too casual about amputated bits?

- Aliens amputating bits of human anatomy to study and then chucking them out the spacecraft when they’re done with them? Naah. Too far fetched. Mind you, five amputated feet are pretty far-fetched, too.

- People suffering from borderline personality illness not content with mere cutting of themselves, cutting themselves much more deeply?

- Some sort of Armageddon signal that the end of the world has truly arrived?

I have no answers. Quite seriously, what do you think? I’d love to read your theories. Just ask yourself, how would Grissom on CSI handle this? Surely he’d solve it in less than an hour, with commercials thrown in.