Thursday, June 05, 2008

And the seats are absolutely brutal

Last week – or is it this week? I lose track of these things – was/is ‘Bike to Work Week’. Do they keep stats on this stuff, I wonder. I wonder how much of an increase there was in incidents of flimsy velocipedes, operated by ‘PC thinking’ novices being schmucked by semis? Just askin’.

I didn’t, by the way, bike to work, or to the store, or to anyplace else that was either walking or driving distance. That’s mainly because I no longer own a bicycle, but secondarily because, considering the SUV-wielding maniacs on our roadways, I wouldn’t be prepared to take the risk.

In any case, I’m somewhat of the George Carlin school on the matter of bicycles. This holds that if I am driving my car and you’re on a bike, get the hell out of my way because you are using a ‘toy’ on a public thoroughfare.

I used to cycle a lot when I was a kid. When I was growing up cycling was a kid thing. At a certain age – 16 or so – I graduated to a car. Getting a car was sort of like shaving or having sex for the first time – it was a rite of passage. That’s why the ‘carbon footprint’ bullies are having such a hard time convincing people of my generation especially that they must rely less on four wheels and an engine, and downsize to two.

By the way, I am a great believer in the value of exercise, and am also a great believer in walking wherever I can, especially if I have the time to do so. I am very happy if I haven’t taken my car out of the garage on any given day and have carried out my errands on foot. My motivation here is to enhance my health and to not put any money into the coffers of tax-grabbing ‘nouveau enviro-embracing’ governments and the international petroleum trading swine who have inflated prices outrageously mainly because they can. And they can because we are addicted to the internal combustion engine. Drug dealers work in much the same way.

Part of the problem I have with cycling (aside from the anatomical assault on a part of my body of which the less I discuss ‘that’ matter the better) is cyclists themselves. So many of them are such smug bastards. The worst are those incline bike weenies, but that’s my bigotry showing.

But, you see them out there in their little helmets and their unspeakably hideous cycling garb (why is it necessary to look like a pool of vomited M&Ms in order to ride a bicycle?) riding along as if they owned the road; two-abreast sometimes. And too often they have one of those li’l ‘baby killer’ trailers on tow. Wow, that’s the ticket for taking wee Wendel out on a crowded roadway, but make sure he’s all trussed up in his expensive infant seat when he’s in a car – encased in steel rather than a flimsy hunk of canvas. The mind boggles, I tell you.
The only other people you see riding bikes a lot are guys with whom maybe you don’t entirely want to associate – either junkies or guys who have chalked up their 7th DUI.

So, for now I’ll stick with my car and my legs, and eschew cycling. Eventually, however, I might be forced to use (shudder) public transit. Sometime I’ll explore my feelings about buses. They are not good ones.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Jazz said...

And here I thought I'd start cycling to work - because it'd be pretty much teh only exercise I get during the week.

Why am I not surprised that you hate public transport?

Here's a dilemma for you: You have to choose between public transport and cycling... one or the other. Which way do you go?

12:52 PM  
Blogger thailandchani said...

I don't mind public transport.. and I don't even mind bikes. The thing that would be so pleasing is better manners from everyone, no matter how they choose to transport themselves.

I wouldn't dare try to ride a bike though. :) How about little motorized scooters?

12:56 PM  
Blogger kimber said...

I rode my bike yesterday, and today, I'm suffering -- the stiff calves and thighs, I understand, but who knew one's armpits could be so remarkably sore?

I took public transit every day during my city life, and hated hated hated it. I'd gladly brave the roads on my bike before taking a bus ever again!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Liz Dwyer said...

The ones that ride their bikes smack in the middle of the street are seriously annoying. Stay on the side of the road! On the other hand, I do wish LA would take a hint from China and build bike lanes with barriers so a car can't swerve into the bike lane and hit you.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Synchronicity said...

i love my bicycle but i always ride on the greenways.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Leslie Hawes said...

Teletransporting...it's the only way to go!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

I don't mind sharing the road with cyclists, but I do wish that they'd

1. Ride within the bike lane, not on the stripe separating the lane from the car lanes

2. Obey traffic rules such as stopping at stop signs and lights

3. Not ride down the middle of the road directly in front of me when, say, I'm on a one-lane road going down a mountain

4. Not take children on busy roads such as expressways

Are those things too much to ask? No. I didn't think so.

3:57 PM  
Blogger heiresschild said...

i haven't cycled since grade school, unless you count an exercise bike, in which case, i didn't go very far on it.

4:17 PM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

when i bicycle again, i'm gonna use one of them psychopaths... and leave the roads to you! :P lol

but you're right, there are a lot of smug mofos on bicycles, and i shudder at the thought of hauling a child in one of those death traps, it's bad enough seeing the yuppies push their puppies in those fancy three-wheelers as they jog along roadsides :(

5:22 PM  
Blogger Laura Jane Williams said...

Buses... *shudder*...

5:52 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

Sorry, gotta disagree with you here. I'm a cyclist and I love it. I use the cycle lanes where I can and I try to get off the roads and cycle in the woods. I'm a driver, of course, as well and I try to give cyclists due respect.

Our cause isn't helped though by cyclists who crash red lights. Actually, I'm amazed that cyclists do that especially in Paris. French drivers are dangerous enough without giving them an excuse to knock you down.

Some cycle lanes are brilliant in Paris because they are separated from the main traffic by a stone barrier. So why do some cyclists cycle on the other side of our own lane? Beats me.

11:02 AM  
Blogger meggie said...

I loathe buses for transport for daily travel, but don't mind the big ones for intercity travel.
Trains... not so much. The Country ones are comfortable here.

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am too skittish to bike in traffic, but I love riding a bike on a path through nature But I made sure to equip my bike with a cushy seat!

4:43 PM  

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