Thursday, May 22, 2008

I call it the sexy negligee syndrome

Writing is a process that involves supposition, and supposition, unless you’ve really read the signs correctly, hardly ever works.

It’s a bit like the man who buys his wife a diaphanous and sexy negligee or a pair of ever-so filmy panties, and says to himself: “She’ll love these.” No she won’t. The point is, you love them. She is happiest in her flannel jammies and great big granny pants. And that is her right.

So, I can write something, and I did this for years as a columnist, in which I would convince myself, this is really, really good and the readers will be dazzled. But, like my wife with the teeny panties, that’s as maybe. The point is, I like the piece, but how dare I presuppose?

I wrote columns that I was convinced were virtually Pulitzer material and I received no response whatsoever about them, even from colleagues. I was given to going around the newsroom asking: “What’d ya think of the column? Tell me. Didya like it? Didya-didya-didya?” Only to receive such comments as: “Oh, I must have missed that one. I’ll check it out later,” or “Interesting idea,” or “I found it a bit confusing, but that’s just me.”

I also wrote columns when I was overtired, hungover (back then), suffering marital woes (regularly), rapturously in love, anxious, depressed, bitter, lethargic and lazy, that were utter throwaway crap and had only been crashed off to meet a deadline.

People loved those ones. I was told how funny they were, thought-provoking, at the top of my form, etc. etc. I would get phone calls about them, and letters to the editor. I would be invited to speak at clubs and organizations because of them, and even won awards due to them.

I was egocentric enough that such responses were invariably welcomed, yet I always wondered why I didn’t get such responses to my self-conceived ‘good ones.’

Blogging is a bit the same. I can labor over a blog that I think is an utter gem of the genre, and receive little or sometimes no response. I can write what I think are silly throwaways and I’ll get 20-plus comments.

Other bloggers I know and respect have expressed the same sentiments. Indeed, one blogger, whom I respect and also understand his motivations, has suggested he is going to start scrapping people from his blogroll who do not respond. It’s his blog, and he is entitled. I still read him and make comment because I often like what he has to say.

Anyway, there is no figuring the tastes of the reading public, which is why trashy potboilers do well, and works of literature are, well, works of literature.

Now, since I don’t know where I am going with this any longer, I can only say it all boils down to the frilly peignoir syndrome.

Labels:

18 Comments:

Blogger thailandchani said...

That guy who wants to scrap everyone from his blogroll who doesn't respond.... hm..

The people on my blogroll are there because I enjoy their writing. I can understand though how he would get frustrated if there's absolutely no return interest.

I comment far less than I used to. These days, I have to have something to say. At first, I responded to every post I read but not so much anymore.

We used to joke that all you have to do is write a post about poop and everyone in the world will have something to say.

There's no accounting for the taste of the reading public. :)

9:48 AM  
Blogger Ian Lidster said...

Chani, I like your comments and agree with you completely. I also agree there is no point in just doing a polite pro forma thing just because you think somebody might expect it. That's not what blogging is supposed to be about. I love your blog virutally always, but I haven't always honed cogent thoughts to offer in response, so I refrain even though I faithfully read you.
Hmm, a blog about poop. Never thought about that, but you know, you're right because that is, I guess, something 'everybody' can relate to.

11:22 AM  
Blogger andrea said...

Don't scrap me! I'm still reading. Just nothing witty to say. Nothing non-witty to say either. But I'm smiling and nodding if that's OK.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

One possibility is that the pieces which receive few comments are so thoroughly well-written that they leave the reader in a speechless, thoughtful state.

I know that's what the piece which mentioned Queen Vicki's undies did for me. I spent days thinking about crotchless underwear, streams of urine going down legs, and similar quaint customs. My husband is eternally grateful to you, because for a time I was quite silent.

2:08 PM  
Blogger jmb said...

Well maybe a writer is the worst judge of all of his/her work. Maybe, how would I know?
I think the feedback, especially for a blog, is often difficult. Yes the comments make one's day, but sometimes it's not easy to come up with a good comment and I hate to contribute good post Ian and that's all.
One of the things that I like is MyBlogLog which means the blog owner knows who came by and has read the post but did not necessarily have anything brilliant to add to the discussion. Perhaps his/her thoughts about the post had already been expressed and maybe even better.

Don't worry Ian, you've still got it. One day you should make your blog into a book.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's variable for me, too. And I sometimes get crazily behind and will read several posts at once, but maybe only comment on one or two of them.

A tangential aside - this is why I think sexy lingerie is a good gift for men- he's the one who is really going to enjoy it. I gave the guy I'm seeing a black lacy thing and a bottle of champagne and tickets to a New Year's event and a hotel reervation. I don't think he could have been happier.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

I found something similar with papers I would write in college. If I put it off until the last minute, I would invariably earn an A. Any earlier and I was flirting with low B-C range. I think the pressure made me focused.

I've had similar comments about how people love my random ramblings, just talking about how crappy the coffee is at work or what have you. Perhaps it makes us more real, Ian. I don't know. Just throwing things out there.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

And a quick p.s. -- not that the writings make us more real, you understand -- just that when we're just writing without all the planning that perhaps more of *us* comes through. Just thinking outloud again. ;) I like to do that with you.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Janice Thomson said...

I would much rather people came by once a week and gave a really thoughtful comment. It's one of the reasons I don't have a blog roll - nobody has to feel pressured into saying something. There are over 60 blogs in my reader that I read faithfully everyday - 15 to 20 of them I leave a comment on and only if I have something to say that hasn't already been said ten times over or if the post really appealed in some manner :)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Marianne said...

I'm not sure about commenting. Sometimes I'd rather think that the person read it and thought about it rather than popped in and left a one liner having just skimmed the post.

Likewise, I enjoy commenting when I have something to say, even if it's just, oh wow, great post or something inane. But somedays I don't have the confidence to put words on the page even in a comment.

Thanks for the thinker. M

6:17 AM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

lol

the way it goes... learned that first year university when i wrote a weekly column on campus activities for the daily in town

little has changed over the eons ;)

on my page i post things that strike me at the moment, but add some of my own scribblings on occasion

like the animators of the 'termite terrace' era, it's mostly to amuse myself, though i welcome comments

awaiting delivery of a tool so i can add something different, time to time

9:29 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

Ian,

Yes, it's strange how people react to certain posts. I've done exactly the same thing as you - knocked off a post that I thought was so-so and had quite a lot of comments. And the one I secretly thought rather good has barely registered on the comments scale. Luckily, I write for myself.

But commenters come and go and not for us to reason why - we'd go mad otherwise.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Rositta said...

We have no control over what other people find pleasing therefore, write what pleases you. I find myself not tackling grittier subjects now that I have more readers. Somehow I've become afraid to offend....ciao

12:57 PM  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

I've had less time for blogging lately but I usually read my favorites, even if I don't comment. Maybe that's not fair and I should at least write "Kilroy was here."

I am always puzzled by which of my posts get the most responses. They are hardly ever the ones I consider well-written or about important topics, but just when I think I've pegged it, people surprise me.

I am always grateful for comments, though, especially those that raise points I might not have considered and inspire dialogue.

8:50 PM  
Blogger meggie said...

I know just what you mean, about trying to gauge what people want to read.
I think funny will do it, but my idea of funny- as in humourous- may not be someone else's

I did enjoy this, but then, I enjoy most of your posts Ian.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Jazz said...

I don't much care whether people comment or not. Those who are on my blogroll are there because I enjoy reading their blogs. Period.

Which reminds me that I'm WAY behind in updating that thing...

5:22 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This may be a result of the solace it accommodates the wearer, its quality and solidness. One kind of underwear that comes in silk, is the negligee. A negligee is an extravagant robe for ladies. Silk Like some negligees are the most mainstream.

12:40 AM  
Blogger yanmaneee said...

balenciaga shoes
golden goose
goyard handbags
goyard handbags
supreme outlet
golden goose
golden goose
balenciaga
yeezy shoes
adidas yeezy

4:17 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home