Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Baldness chic has run its course, I think



In my esteem there are only five reasons for a man to be hairless:

1. He actually is hairless, as in bald.

2. He has been undergoing chemotherapy.

3. He suffers from alopecia (complete hair loss).

4. He is Yul Brynner or Telly Savalas.

5. He is a Buddhist monk.

Otherwise, God gave you hair. Live with it. This particular mini-rant is concerned with the vogue for males – especially of a certain youthful to middle-aged grouping, but not exclusively confined to that demographic – to sheer off their God-given follicles. Sorry, but I detest the look and immediately form a judgment about a shaven headed dude approaching me in a dark side-street or alleyway.

For an instant I assume he is approaching me to do me harm. The shorn head gives him that bearing because traditionally the only people who had shaved heads were convicts.

Today, in my bias, the only people who have shaved heads are the aforementioned convicts, drug dealers and pimps. Anybody who doesn’t fall into those categories is a ‘wannabe’. It’s kind of like tattoos. Traditionally the only people sporting tats were sailors, convicts and Maoris. Not oddly at all, guys with shaved heads also often are adorned in tattoos. Tattoos actually on those shaved heads truly goes beyond the pale.

So, what is this ‘thug chic’ that prevails? Why would somebody want to type themselves in a fashion sense as an antisocial individual? I mean, adolescents always want to shock with their dress and style. That’s one of the tiresome facets of being an adolescent. But, if you haven’t grown out of teenage ways by, say, age 22 then you are dealing with arrested development and should be getting some therapy.

But, aside from the antisocial menace message a shaved head gives, it is also esthetically unappealing. For the same reason most of us should wear clothing much of the time, we have a head covering of hair to hide lumps, bumps, scars and other bits of disagreeability that a shaven head exposes.

Of course, I am very happy that I have been allowed by genetics or whatever to keep a full head of hair throughout, so I can afford to be smug about this.

Labels: , ,

16 Comments:

Blogger Janice Thomson said...

My son went through that stage but thankfully has gotten over it. People do a lot of strange things to their bodies such as earrings in their tongues and other unmentionable places. Today the word uniqueness has taken on a whole different meaning and not one I want to be part of.
Great post Ian - I agree completely.

8:39 AM  
Blogger Vic said...

I am very grateful to have a full head of hair (though my sons consider it white, not grey). I share your detestation of "punk" affectations. But then, that probably adds to my curmudgeonly scorecard. I wonder why so few women practice baldness? Maybe they have sufficient intelligence to have clued in that is is ugly.

Tattoes. Now there's another subject for a rant. Why do so many young women despoil their beauty with them? Especially when they cover vast sections of their skin? I wish I had been a plastic surgeon, as I suspect in 15 years there will be a great demand for laser removal.

End of rant.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Tai said...

These days there are plenty of business men who wear Armani and drive BMW's that have their heads shaved. I always think they aren't so fortunate in the hair department and shave it to disguise a receeding line.
Each to their own, that's my thought.
(Mind you, a young man with a shaved head makes me think of skinheads, and that makes me a little nervous.)

9:22 AM  
Blogger jmb said...

What about the ones who don't completely shave their heads but have a millimetre of hair such that the shadow of their hair pattern is seen? Too weird.

Like sporting the one day growth look. Why do women think that is sexy? Have a beard or be clean shaven.

Lucky you, with your great hair.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Dita said...

Ah, but the bald guy is the receiver of hair-petting by the chicklets. Reason #6. Not that I partake. Empasizing the "I"

12:21 PM  
Blogger Jazz said...

Personally, I much prefer a shaven head to a comb over; those are truly truly nasty.

I kind of like a bald head myself - if it's a nice head. What I truly truly loathe is a guy who does the body wax thing. Waxed chests creep me out.

12:26 PM  
Blogger meggie said...

I agree about shaved heads being a worrisome look. To me, it makes the man resemble a Pit Bull & I expect violence of both nature & physicality.
My sons have had very short haircuts, but never the shaved look.

Bouncers at Nightclubs & Pubs seem to favour the shave, to hide their balding hair. I suspect it is from taking drugs, since they tend to also lack necks, brains, & sense, but have overabundance of brawn.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Big Brother said...

If you have hair keep it, but if it's a choice between a comb over and shaved... shaved it is. Lucky it's not my case, at lrast yet. ;o)

4:12 PM  
Blogger Leslie Hawes said...

I kinda got giggly when you asked, "Why would somebody want to type themselves in a fashion sense as an antisocial individual?"
I immediately thought of James Dean and Elvis Presley and the Beatles. And Black leather jackets...and blue jeans!!horrors!

"If we continue to let our youth listen to that boogie woogie music it will be the end of civilization..."

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In general, I agree with you. Although I did take my son to a skate show store once and the young guy who waited on us and was flirting with me was gorgeous and had a shaved head. SO it worked for him. But mostly, I like hair.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Clippy Mat said...

hmm, hair's nice if you've got a full head of it, but if it's falling out and you've got baldy spots you might as well get it down to the wood or shave it off altogether. my hubby likes to get his done with a number two, whatever the hell that is. but he likes it and it makes him feel as if he has a 'choice' about being bald.....
i just humour him. bless his baldy little head.

7:17 PM  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

I agree, with the exception of Yul Brynner, Sean Connery and reluctantly, Telly Savalas.

The whole gangster look is still in, and I wish it would go the way of poodle skirts and Nehru jackets.

7:27 PM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

hear, hear!

could not agree with you more!

4:23 AM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

I have a friend who started wearing a toupee a while ago. When he met his girlfriend, she told him to "get rid of it or get rid of me". Now he wears his hair as nature intended. Balding and all. And she loves him.

5:16 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

I went bald quite early on and so have no option. If I had hair, I'd grow it long. But I don't, so I can't, so I have to wander around looking like a bouncer. But I don't have tattoos or piercings!

10:47 AM  
Blogger TheRetardedWon said...

Do you think men choose to be shaven-headed for no reason whatsoever? They obviously have issues with the remaining hair they've got. Think about it matey we'd all rather look like Brad Pitt (not that you do) but then the world would be an extremely boring place. And Brad Pitt would not be good looking anymore. He'd be 'average Joe'. I think you aspire to being 'average Joe' too, secretly..

I wonder what YOU would do if you lost your hair... I bet you'd shave it off. Or would you grow it out and look like William Shakespeare? Choices, choices.

5:28 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home