Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Very jolly old elf indeed

All I can say is: Is nothing sacred?

My disquietude is prompted by reading an item concerning a 65-year-old department store Santa Claus in Danbury Conn. Who was sexually groped by a 33-year-old woman who was sitting on his lap.

What is the world coming to?

One Sandrama Lamy has been charged with sexual assault and breach of the peace for her shenanigans. No suggestion has yet been made as to what she actually groped, but we can probably guess. Why did she do it? That’s the outstanding question. Had she been listening to the sultry voice of Eartha Kitt purring Santa Baby? Had she been downing a little too much eggnog at lunchtime? Does she find portly gentlemen in red and white suits sexually arousing? Who can say?

All I can say is I wish I could get a free pass to her trial just to hear the spicy testimony. I think if you live in that neighborhood, you should drop in just for the entertainment value.

What I would also like to know is what Mrs. Santa thinks about this. That nice lady, who looks a little like Aunt Bea on Andy Griffith, has come to accept the fact, I am sure, that it’s not just tiny tots who want to sit on hubby’s lap. Big girls, for whatever reasons, have been known to want to do so as well.

But, in the past the concern might have been the thought that old St. Nick might be wanting to grab himself an enticing handful, rather than the other way around. But, women of today are a little freer to express their proclivities, as evidenced by the assorted Britneys and Lilos of the world, so I guess we had to expect this sort of thing.

In the wake of the incident, however, the store is relieved to note that they’ve had no end of applications to take on the task next year, or to relieve this year’s Mr. Claus should he be too traumatized to persevere.


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12 Comments:

Blogger laughingwolf said...

one would think she lacks a life of her own....

4:42 PM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

This story is getting big newsplay here in the Northeast Coast of the US.

::Sheesh::

4:57 PM  
Blogger Hermes said...

The simple answer is that no... nothing is sacred.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Janice Thomson said...

Gosh takes all kinds don't it.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Tai said...

You never did see "Bad Santa" starring Billy Bob Thornton, did you?
The Santa groping thing may have found it's birthplace there.
Please don't watch it though. It's HORRIBLE.
I only sat through it 'cus my dad made me. And that was disturbing indeed.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Casdok said...

Yes what is the world coming to!!!

12:34 AM  
Blogger Jazz said...

Groping a 65 year old man? It's not like the result would be... um... conclusive.

Poor old man. Well, now he knows how the other half feels.

I can't help but wonder though, why it doesn't make the news when women get groped?

6:40 AM  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

Why was an adult woman allowed to sit on Santa's lap in the first place?

Department store Santas are there for the children, not the childISH. Or worse.

10:03 AM  
Blogger meggie said...

At first I laughed. Then I had a horrible flash of some child witnessing the incident.
Yep, nothing is sacred.

12:47 PM  
Blogger jmb said...

Well I laughed anyway. Not politically correct but still. I'm surprised he pressed charges and didn't think it his due.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Liz Dwyer said...

I agree with Heart...and I honestly can't imagine wanting to sit on some stranger's lap like that. Eww. Maybe she'll plead insanity or something.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

I don't know why in the hell people think it's okay to grope, hit, kick, pester, bedevil, spindle, fold or mutilate people who are in costume. Snoopy, Santa, Snow White - none of them are safe from unwanted advances.

Actually, I'm being silly. I can take an excellent guess at why this particular woman did it: for exactly the same reason she was sitting on his lap in the first place. The silly cow was probably drunk or stoned out of her mind.

10:52 PM  

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