Thursday, October 25, 2007

What, me worry?

Materfamilias pondering the future as the family home is being erected

“Being too intelligent is a curse,” said Mumsy in one of her periodic embittered forays into temporary sobriety. I think it was on the occasion of my acquisition of a university degree.

“Thanks, Mom, you just really warmed the cockles of this boy’s heart,” I replied. Actually, I don’t think I said any such thing, but her statement at the time has always stuck with me.

My mother was, despite her myriad emotional, psychological and addictive woes, an extremely intelligent woman. She skipped school twice and graduated at 15. She evidently excelled in creative writing, English and probably lots of other things. In that, I suppose the apple doesn’t fall so very far from the tree. Yet, after school was finished she never, as the old saying goes, ‘amounted to a pinch of coonshit.’ Sad, that, I always thought. But, she made her choices, married an up-and-comer who would always keep her well, and spent the remainder of her 72 years steeped in discontent, frustration and anger, seeking ever increasing doses of her twin Vs – vodka and valium – to keep her going. Yes, very sad, that.

But, that isn’t my point here. My point is merely her statement about intelligence. My mother sought I was intelligent, too, so on the occasion of my graduation she (for whatever reason) thought it apt to bestow the ‘curse’ on me. I guess she saw it as a caveat.

I don’t know how intelligent I am. I have never checked out my IQ, and have no impulse to so do. If it’s higher than I thought (I mean, I have an idea of what it ‘might’ be, at least a ballpark of what it might be) then I am going to feel like a huge failure. If it’s lower, then I’ll feel all inadequate and lacking.

At the same time, I think my work and a few accolades I’ve garnered indicate that I must have a reasonable degree of smarts. Which leads me to the question: ‘If I’m so smart, why ain’t I rich?’ Well, that’s mainly because largesse comes from a different sort of intelligence than the kind I seem to have been blessed with. My mother’s least academic sibling, for example, ultimately became the richest. Uncle Bob deserved his wealth considering the awful crone he was married to. Smart about money, but not so smart about life-partner choice. I would have poisoned her tea.

Then there is also the matter of ‘emotional intelligence’. I may have been intellectually somewhat astute, but at an emotional level – certainly for a lot of years at least – I was a bit of a moron, considering a few of the decisions I made. But, those weren’t decisions that were made with the brain, or even the heart, but with quite another part of the anatomy. Enough about that.

Going back to mater’s premise, is intelligence a curse? Is life easier for the simple souls? Arguably, it is. If you are less aware of the panorama of everything you are possibly less stressed. You are also more accepting of that which is around you, in all likelihood because you won’t have explored all possibilities. I don’t mean this in a demeaning sense. I have known people with relatively low expectations, and their lives have revolved around home, hearth and family, and all the verities therein, and their homes are always comforting places to visit.

Comforting but, alas, a bit on the boring side at times. But, that’s just me. And, probably you considering the fascinating calibre of writing I see among the members of my blogroll. I don’t say that all bloggers are real smart folk, but the ones I’m in contact with, either on my roll or elsewhere in the sphere, certainly are.


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17 Comments:

Blogger Liz Dwyer said...

Fascinating picture there, Ian. And if you are looking for fodder for a novel, yes, write what you know because you know we all end up writing about our mothers anyway and the experiences of your mom and you with your mom sound infinitely readable!

As far as intelligence being a curse, maybe it can be if it's not balanced with something else that grounds you and keeps you from being to arrogant or too bitter.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Janice Thomson said...

Regardless of how I achieved any intelligence I have, be it school taught, or taught by life itself, I would rather be intelligent. To me one of the purposes of being on this earth is to learn as much about the world and ourselves as is humanly possible. There's very little in this world that doesn't interest me - I want to know what makes everything tick and if that takes me down the off-beaten track so be it. It also makes for a more rounded human being. Course I don't want to learn about bungee jumping; there are limits you know...
Great post Ian.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Tai said...

This post really made me stop and think.
Which IS better? Sweet simplicity, or innate intelligence.
I think I have to agree with Janice, for good or bad, I must know as much as I can about everything.
Also? Being intelligent without a release would be exceptionally difficult. And by release, I mean a way in which to use it.
Being around other intelligent people is certainly wonderful, but what do you do when you feel you're alone?

9:53 AM  
Blogger thailandchani said...

It all depends on what we decide to do with our intelligence. Honestly.. I believe that. If we expend all of our intellectual energy on commercial things, hunting and gathering, we'll likely be frustrated.

Pondering is good.. as long as it doesn't become brooding.

Intelligence can be a curse in some ways though. The things and topics most people chatter on about endlessly are just nerve-grating for those with a few more brain cells.

I won't elaborate on that... except to say that one of my mailing lists yesterday generated 200 messages, all on the topic of okra.

:)

11:18 AM  
Blogger Jazz said...

I think that you might be happier if you're "dumb", but not necessarily so. I've known some pretty dumb people who were really good at making themselves miserable.

I'm bascially a very happy person, and, I think, quite intelligent. It's all in how you use your intelligence.

Your mom for instance was obviously an intelligent woman, but it was a "curse" for her since she didn't use it other than to brood on how unhappy she was.

A friend once told me the worst thing is to be intelligent enough to know why you're unhappy, but not intelligent enough to fix the problem. Actually, I'm not sure that makes any sense.

11:53 AM  
Blogger meggie said...

Very interesting post, & some interesting comments.
My mother had loved school, but had to leave early. She never stopped her quest for knowledge. I feel I learn something new every day, & am glad to have the opportunity to do so.
I once worked with a woman who had a super-intelligent daughter. She always told me she was so sorry for her daughter, because she was unlikely to find a partner who could match her intelligence, & I think she was probably right.

1:11 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

Having a huge ego and a low emotional intelligence my expectations for myself have always far outstripped my ability and/or work ethic. That said, I have been told too many times to mention that I'm "too smart to be an artist." How depressing. On that note I need a drink.

PS As for you, Mr Smartyman, it's not your good looks and huge bankroll (hubba hubba) that keep me returning to read your blog, impressive though they may be.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

Yes, a fascinating picture, both visually and in print. I have wondered this same thing myself, though it seems to me that the smarts need to be partnered with the arts in order for someone to be truly tortured. Perhaps that's only because the only tortured souls I've known (myself included) have been not only intelligent but also artistic in one way or another. I think that Bill Gates is probably a genius, bit is he tortured? It doesn't seem to be so.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

Oh, goodness. What a life you've had thus far! Your mom, whatever her virtues might have been, clearly had some issues. Happily, they don't have to be yours.

Being intelligent and not being blind to the big picture can certainly bring a measure of discontent. However, I would think it's preferable to being blindly buffeted around by life and eternally puzzled. Speaking selfishly, many of the conveniences we all enjoy are a direct result of intelligent people feeling the itch of discontent.

Here's to the curse!

4:20 PM  
Blogger geewits said...

I've always thought there was something to the expression "Ignorance is bliss." Sometimes I would feel jealous of those people. But in the long run, I'd rather be intelligent. It's also better for humor. Anyone can laugh when a fool leans over too far and falls off a boat, but not everyone can laugh at a clever turn of words.

12:15 AM  
Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

It's sad that she felt that way, or maybe she didn't, really, and it was her bitterness speaking.

As for whether it's more blessed to be smart or stupid, I can't really say. I've never tried it any other way than the way I was born.

I would infinitely prefer to be intelligent, though, because I think that life is richer and has more dimensions for those with greater ability to discern and appreciate it.

As for intelligence and arrogance being tied together, it needn't be so. Intelligence creates more opportunities to help others if it is accompanied by a degree of maturity and especially, compassion.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Groanin' Jock said...

I suppose in some ways it might be easier to be less intelligent. But I can't imagine going through life without wanting to understand the hows, whys, wheres and whens that make things tick.

I stayed at school until I was 18 and then spent four years at university. There are people who were in my class at school who effectively dropped out aged 16 who are considerably better off, in a material and financial sense, than I am. But since they left school I've spent six years more than them filling my head with knowledge, and I've travelled around the world. So, for all their material trappings, I still think that I've had the more fulfilling life to date.

12:42 AM  
Blogger jmb said...

This is a good post and the number of comments with thoughtful answers must have convinced you by now.
I think we all would rather be more intelligent than less. I feel I'm very lucky to still have that curiosity that I was blessed with for it is just as, if not more, valuable than formal education which I had as well. But I would like to have been more intellectual. More an idea person, able to discuss ideas more intelligently but I don't let that get me down.

Sometimes I read a story about someone who came to Canada with nothing after I did and made a fortune. Like the man who started Magna International and is worth millions now. I wonder why I haven't done that. Well, not seriously, but a little.

1:09 AM  
Blogger Casdok said...

I liked this post, as its something i come across all the time. I do have a bit of a problem with you saying if you are less aware you are less stressed. But i will take it in the vein of your context!

There certainly are different types of intelegence, but they dont all make you clever!

You are though, of course!

3:02 AM  
Blogger Ian Lidster said...

A plethora of thoughtful, and need I say, 'intelligent' comments on this particular blog, and all are hugely appreciated and give much food for thought. But, with you people, how could I expect anything different. We attract one another for good reasons.

5:04 AM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

yes, great post, ian... and ponderful comments ;)

like many, my interests run the gamut, often to my chagrin when some things i've tried my hand at remain incomplete cuz my curiosity was piqued elsewhere

eventually, they do get done... when i get around to them again :O

5:24 AM  
Blogger Ellee Seymour said...

Funnily enough, my mother says exactly the same, I'm the only one in my family who likes reading or intellectual pursuits.

In fact, one blogger even has me listed as Ellee - too clever for her own good. (thought I don't view myself that way!)Wish I was clever.

6:00 AM  

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