Much ado about deli

Some people just don’t ‘get’ gallows humor. Not only do they not get it and are resolutely offended by it, they fail to understand the motivation behind a wisecrack as applied to a tragedy.

In other words, they shun God’s greatest survival gift to folks – an ability to laugh in the face of adversity. No other animals can do that. The ability to give the finger to the forces of evil and horror keeps us from going mad, in my esteem.

Currently there are masses of ‘sensitive’ lynch-mobs calling for the demise of Canadian Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz for uttering what I thought was one of the best bits of gallows humor to come along in quite a while. Indeed, for a political party, the Conservative Party, which is noted for its humorlessness, to make an utterance like that gives me some hope for the future of a society that is fraught with tight-lips and sphincters these days.

Ritz’s gaffe was in reference to the recently tragic ‘listeriosis’ deaths of a number of Canadians who had partaken in a particular brand of deli meats. A horrible situation, and an inexcuasable one in the sense that it was preventable via proper controls and inspections.

Ritz, however, had the cheek to refer to it as “death by a thousand cold cuts.” The results of his so-called gaffe were predictable, and politicized all to hell. Interestingly, the people to rise to his defence have been journalists and columnists. That is because ink-stained wretches are wont to keep their sanity via black humor.

Do I think there is anything inherently funny about somebody dying from eating tainted meat? Of course not. It's horrible, and it was inexcusable at many levels. At the same time, it happened and steps must be taken to see that it doesn't happen again. Ritz's comment had nothing to do with disrespecting those who died. It was instead an attempt to defuse the passions around it so that sensible solutions might be found. Wailing, hand-wringing and rending of garments never succeeds in getting things done. Histrionics don't get the story written, but a wisecrack just might help. As I suggested, I see this as a kind of divine providence in enabling us to move on.

It makes sense. Maybe it doesn’t make sense for politicians (and I’m not suggesting I support Ritz or his party politically, for I never declare myself in terms of my own politics. That’s another hangover from my newspaper days) to wisecrack over a tragedy, but it’s not the end of the world, either. If you think of the awfulness that politicians of all callings get up to, then the Ritz crack is really small spuds, just a little slice of pastrami.

So, journalists speak darkly and profanely on a regular basis. That is because they deal with a great deal more tragedy and wretchedness on a daily basis than does the average person. Most journalists are more sensitive than a layperson might suspect, and we are as capable of being sickened by fatal fires, traffic accidents, murders and other bits of horror as anybody else. Yet, we still have to keep our wits, ask invasive questions of survivors, and write stories that are as accurate as possible. To combat the trauma scribes either take to the booze and nervous breakdowns, or they crack wise and inappropriately amongst themselves.

Other professional callings that deal with the icky and tragic sides of life do likewise. Indeed, journalists must definitely take a secondary place when hearing the ripostes of cops, for example, or firefighters who refer to victims of conflagrations as “crispy critters.”

The black references used by doctors and nurses would horrify the average patient and leave him or her wondering whether they should trust their health to such crass boors. Yes, we should. It is the boorishness that enables them to carry on and deal with death and suffering every day of their working lives.

Even schoolteachers, it must be realized, don’t refer to little Jason and Chantal in the terms they write on report cards when they are sitting in a staff room. If a teacher suggested that she really regards Jason as a “rotten little shit,” on that report card, then you would call for her head, much as people are calling for Gerry Ritz’s head.