Happy trails to us all through our years

We called them ‘OAPs’ when I started in the newspaper business. There was no insult implied. In fact, they even had their own organization called OAPS. I guess that really made more than one of those groups OAPSes.

An OAP, if I need to explain, was an Old Age Pensioner. The term is no longer used. That’s because it’s now illegal to use the word ‘old’ (as applies to people), much as it is illegal to use such terms as cripple, deaf, blind, mentally retarded, spastic, and probably toothless. Dentally challenged is now the correct usage. Ha. Tell that to Gabby Hayes. Gabby Hayes, from the old Roy Rogers movies, was just a toothless old fart and proud of it.

Well, I don’t know if the terms are illegal, but to the righteous thinking, if you should use any of the foregoing references would look at you much in the manner people look at those who pick their noses in public, audibly break wind in elevators or drive Hummers, say. It’s just not the sort of thing that is done in a squeaky-clean and always inoffensive society. You allow it to happen and the next thing will be competition in schools and legal penalties for ‘antisocial acts.’ Those used to be called ‘crimes’, by the way.

Back to ‘old’, however, and Old Age Pensioners. When old became unacceptable the term ‘elderly’ was used for a while. But, now elderly has assumed a pejorative impact. So, today they are ‘seniors.’ That has a nice ring. These people have assumed a position of prominence, like high school or college seniors, senior executives, and so on. Seniors got the power!

Not so, of course. It’s really just a polite euphemism to think of Dad as a senior rather than as a cantankerous old bastard.

But, not only are the formerly old and elderly now seniors, they are also in their ‘golden years’. Doesn’t that sound nice? Golden. It has a pleasing hue to it and doesn’t resemble such manifestations as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, assorted cancers, urinary incontinence, impotence, senile dementia and sleeplessness. In fact, in the new golden age, such possibilities have been banished from the land.

How did it come about that we are so terrified of getting old that we must give it euphemistic names to defuse the sting? Well, it’s those goddamn, self-indulgent, yuppified boomers again. When my old man was Mick Jagger’s age, he retired. The Mickster, however, still runs and prances like he was 25. Good on him, you might say. Not going gentle into that good night and all that rubbish. But, you know, Mick, you actually look 65. In fact, you look considerably the far side of 65. The less said about old ‘Keef’ in that regard, the better.

Dylan Thomas exhorted us to “rage, rage, ‘gainst the dying of the light.” He meant death, of course. And we should. We should persevere to carry on and to get what joys we can as nature and longevity follow their inexorable course down our days. I’d suggest not using D. Thomas as an example of his philosophy, however, since he snuffed it at 39 after a brief lifetime of not taking real good care of himself. But, you get the drift.

But, I think we “rage’ in a fatuous manner. In our “not going gentle” we try to deny the physicality of the aging process – the lovely process that shows we have been around for a while and are forces to reckon with. We have wisdom, hopefully. But, we don’t always show it. We cut out the signs of age on our faces, we dye our hair, we get our boobs and bums lifted and we try to pretend what is happening isn’t happening.

That’s sad.

Old people should revel in their age and their survival skills. I know a man who was a fighter pilot in World War Two, as well as in Korea. He’s one of the most serene people I know. He’s proud of his survival and that he’s still carrying on quite handily. He’s having a hard time right now because his beloved wife of over 60 years is in early stage Alzheimers. He doesn’t think that’s right. But, he accepts it. He accepts all that comes his way.

You have to like a guy like that. And he doesn’t mind being called old. Because that’s what he is. Geezer power indeed.