Be frugal with smiles and people will love you

“Parents – tell your daughters their sexual favors should be like smiles – they are most enticing and best appreciated when given sparingly.”

I don’t know why I put that in quotes, since I made it up. But, I think it is quotable and should gain widespread cachet.

I’ve been told I have a “great” smile. I’ve been told I have a good smile because I don’t go around using it loosely. Much of the time I’m kind of deadpan, I guess. It doesn’t mean I’m ill-tempered or unfriendly, it’s just that I think a smile indicates pleasure of some sort, or friendliness, or amusement and should be kept for those occasions. I’m wary of people who go around with stupid grins on their faces when there is no cause. I don’t mean a body should look grim, just non-committal.

I had an uncle who was a very quiet and taciturn man. He rarely gave of a smile. There was nothing nasty about him; in fact I genuinely liked and appreciated him. He just didn’t smile much. But, when he did. Well, it just lit up the room. The transformation was amazing. You knew that whatever amused or entertained him must have been good.

I have a neighbor like that. She’s relatively pretty but not someone “to write home about,” as my mother would have said. She is also quiet, a bit shy, like my uncle, and almost dour of expression. Except when she smiles. Sometimes it's a bashful, look at the ground smile, and at other times it's a dazzling brilliantly white tooth smile – she could be an advertisement for dental strips – that utterly enchants me. When she smiles I would definitely write home about her, or run away with her, other than we’re both really happily married. But, if I am talking to her and she smiles it’s just a very special treat, and it makes me feel good if I evoke smiles from her.

The late Princess Diana had just such a smile, and that was just one of the reasons why so many people worldwide and female as well as male were in love with her. She didn't go around with a goofy grin all the time, but when she smiled, especially that mysterious smile in which she seemed to be indulging in an inner joke, just worked miracles.

Smiles, of course, bring us to laughter. I don’t laugh a lot. And laughter, like smiles, I think should be granted sparingly so that the outpouring of mirth has genuine meaning. My best friends in this life have been people who could make me laugh so uproariously that I would ‘lose it.’ You know, the souls who can make the tears run down your cheeks in spite of yourself. The people who get you on a roll sufficient to wonder if you should start wearing Depends.

Very few guys and girls like that, but I have been blessed with some. My brother and I can do that; so could my former sister-in-law. And, as I say, my very best friends; one of whom lives across the country in Toronto, the other of whom lives in Australia, and the third who happens to be deceased, but whose comments in times past can still bring a smile. That’s his legacy, I guess.

But, I have another one like that, and that was what led me to truly realize I loved her madly, and that is Wendy. Early on I realized that I had finally found a spouse I could really laugh with.

It’s a blessing.