The good, bad, ugly, and inexcusable

I grew up reading the funnies. Probably most of us did. The average child’s introduction to the newspaper comes via the comic strips, and that is, in my esteem, a perfectly acceptable intro.

I think that I – and certain of us of a ‘certain’ age – have a distinct advantage in that we spent childhood in an era in which the funnies were a big deal. The weekend color pages were not only big enough to see, they seemed to go on forever.

Even the daily black-and-white spreads were impressive and substantive and worthy of juvenile (and even adult) attention in the days before television began to debase and defile all that should be holy in childhood.

Meanwhile, strips have come and gone over the years. Some of them, like Calvin and Hobbes, the Far Side and the always-lamented Pogo (for political satire at both its finest and most cutting), are sorely missed. Others really aren’t. One old-timer did fascinate me by its unique approach, and that was Gasoline Alley, if only because the characters all aged at an actual human rate. Therefore, old Skeezix would have to be pushing 100 by now.

And then there are the bad ones; the ones that keep going on-and-on and nobody seems to understand why. They aren’t funny, they aren’t cogent, and they seem to have no redeeming virtues, yet there they are.

As follows will be a list of personal favorites, and after that will be a list of strips I think are horrible and give nightmares to budding good cartoonists who can’t secure a syndication to save their lives.

Personal Faves (in no particular order):

Calvin and Hobbes – still lamented. No sugar on this one, but tons of wisdom
Pogo – brilliant and demanding of a certain level of current events knowledge, literary background, and appreciation of the abstract.
The Far Side – I can still look at Gary Larsen offerings that I’ve seen a dozen times and still find them hilarious.
Zits – a relatively honest depiction of what it means to be an adolescent, at any time in history.
Pearls Before Swine – a relative newbie, but ruthlessly funny and cutting. Badly drawn, but that is almost part of its charm.
Tina’s Groove – This is a Canadian strip about the trials and tribulations of a restaurant waitress that is funny and honest. It’s a bit like Friends in comic strip form. And, even though she’s only a cartoon, I find Tina kind of sexy.
Peanuts – Even though they are all reprints, for obvious reasons, it often still works Not always, but often.
Dilbert – comes and goes with me, but anybody who’s ever cubicle inhabited gets it. Meanwhile, Wally, the patron saint of slackers everywhere, is my man.

I could think of more, but I think I’ll move on to my least favorites:

The Family Circus: Why is this still around? It’s unfunny. The children are totally banal and say things real children will never say or even think about. The parents are two of the blandest and most boring people who’ve ever given spawn. This one is the winner of my most detested.
Cathy – I only realized the other day that this atrociously drawn mass of clichés still existed. “Ooh – Cathy’s trying on bathing suits and dissing herself!”
Tank MacNamara – I guess if you are a major jock this might work for you. I have never found it amusing or diverting.
Opus – I know there are those that love this. I try. God knows I try, but I just find it charmless. Doonesbury – Probably brilliant satire, and I used to read it years ago, but grew weary due to its stridency. I don’t like to ‘work’ when I read a strip. Maybe it’s really because Gary Trudeau shares a surname with my most reviled prime minister, and because he’s married to Jane Pauley, who has always held a special place in my heart.

Nancy -- Long gone but all time contender for the unfunniest comic strip to ever appear (forever and ever, it seemed) on the comic pages.

As a closing note, what are your favorites and your most detested?