Name your AOTY winners, we want to hear them

I decided this day it was time for a good, old-fashioned rant. Haven’t done that for a while. Not that I feel negative. In fact, I feel great. Just back from vacation, and the weather is splendid. Nothing wrong at all. But, I still sensed a need to vent some spleen.

In that context, I have created a new award that is called the AOTY Award. AOTY is an acronym of sorts for ‘Asshole of the Year’ and there seems to be a surfeit of eligible candidates. If you find the term ‘asshole’ offends your sensibilities, then please substitute something appropriate like jerk, moron, cretin, thoughtless pig, self-indulgent flaming guttersnipe, and so on. I only chose asshole because it is the word that immediately springs to my lips when I experience certain behaviors by others.

Now, we all are capable to mistakes, and we’ve all been assholes at different times, but the majority of us are caring and socially responsible individuals who are heedful of how our behavior might impact others, so we, especially with maturity, have learned to approach the world with empathy as in, “If I do that thing, how will it make another feel? Furthermore, how do I feel if somebody does that to me?” It’s simple, see. It’s just your standard Golden Rule.

Anyway, the thought came to me because of a couple of incidents over the last week that gave me pause to consider just how moronic some people – people who otherwise have the right to vote and (more confounding) breed more of their ilk – can be.

The first incident was when we were back on Vancouver Island on our last vacation day early in the week. Five minutes off the ferry from Vancouver, and turning onto a freeway interchange there is a guy parked on the shoulder of the interchange entry road. My initial assumption was that his car had broken down, and I thought, what an unfortunate place. But then – but then!! – the bastard pulled right out in front of me and proceeded forward at about 30-per, and then pulled in behind another vehicle on the shoulder up ahead, and they both pulled out into traffic and proceeded a the aforementioned 30-ish. Wow, how did I know I was back on Vancouver Island? Mainly because this big chunk of rock boasts some of the worst drivers on the planet. So, that guy and his friend were my first AOTY recipients.

The next day, which was sunny and nice, Wendy and I decided to take a favorite walk at a spot known as the Courtenay Air Park. It’s a lovely spot, about a mile or so, right on the river estuary. As we entered the walkway I noticed there was a large locked iron gate across the walkway. Why? A few yards on I saw why. Some peabrain had driven his car down the path and up over the grass in this pastoral setting that is enjoyed by walkers, cyclists and skaters. Yet, a moron had to defile it by driving his car there. My second winner is this child who was obviously spawned by a mother somewhere, and sired by some sort of a father.

But wait, there are more. As follows is an eclectic array of winners, some named, some not.

1. All graffiti ‘artists’ who would defile public places. If you are genuinely talented at your craft, then take up legitimate are or sign on as a mural painter.

2. Canadian merchants who persist, despite the fact that the Canadian and US dollars are on par, in charging outrageously inflated prices for such things as books, music, vehicles, electronics and much more, and then offer lame excuses exhorting us to be patient while reaping huge profits at the expense of consumers. The most egregious example of this that I’ve seen lately was a book (of which I just completed a newspaper review) that is published in Canada, was printed in Canada and retails for $19.95. US price, $17.95!

3. George W. Bush who would deny subsidized medical aid to the poorest of kids, offering the excuse that it would be the thin edge of the wedge in permitting (gasp) the sort of ‘socialized medical care’ that is the pattern in virtually every other western nation. Hmm. Speaking of thin edge of the wedge, ever hear of Marie Antoinette?

4. Environmental ‘activists’ who fly from speaking engagement to speaking engagement in private jets, all the while decrying global warming and our general despoliation of the planet.

5. Medical researchers who offer us more and more frightening health scenarios in our daily papers, day after day, some of which are even contradictory to another “researchers say” article in the same paper. This is, of course, all in the name of keepin’ them old grant bucks a-comin’. The most important realization for all of us regarding health, and life in general, is that none of us will get out of it alive.

6. Newspapers, their publishers and their editors who believe that the pantieless and substance abusing antics of the Britneys Parises and Lindsays are actual real news of import to a well-informed public. I would like to suggest an award too to those who actually read this crud. Only problem is, then I’d have to give myself one.

7. ‘Big tobacco’ and its sins is an utter no brainer. Of course they are culpable in their assault on the world’s health in the name of profit. ‘Big booze’ is nearly as bad with its pushing, especially towards the young, of its potent potables without ever mentioning the horrors of overindulgence. But, what about ‘Big soda pop?’ The containers get larger and larger and the hype is constant. A lifetime of Diabetes II along with the award for that particular industry.

8. Price-fixing petroleum companies, especially in Canada. Not only do we pay exorbitantly high prices for our ‘essence’, when the price goes to a certain level (twice what it cost us on our recent US trip) then every station in town will be at exactly the same price within seconds. The companies maintain there is no price-fixing (they lie) and the government says there is nothing it can do It also lies.

There are more, many more potential AOTY award winners, but I thought I’d leave it at eight. If you have some of our own, I’d love to hear them.