Just don't scold me and we'll be OK
My wife was shared an elevator the other day with a woman who looked to be in her 80s, The woman was perusing a notice on the lift that stated something to the effect that: “Would residents please refrain from putting plastic bags in the paper recycling bin.” Straightforward enough, and simple enough, Wendy thought. But her octogenarian co-rider was having none of it.“I hate being scolded,” was her indignant response.
Me too. I hate being scolded. And if you want to invite my compliance to anything, do not: scold me, lecture me, patronize me or in any way find me wanting in the way I do things. As a long-time master of self-defeating behavior, I will immediately turn tail and do exactly the opposite of what you want. I will rise up in righteous indignation, even if I agree with the point you might be making.
What can I say? It goes back to a childhood with a domineering father, and it goes back to countless hours, weeks, and days of misery in our public school system. I know my attitude is questionable, but I happen to believe in the philosophy behind winning flies with honey rather than vinegar. Like Elvis once said: “Treat me nice.”
So, it was my indignation about being talked down to by people who think they have all the answers to everything that pissed me off yesterday about the Saturday edition of the Vancouver Sun, that city’s (undeservedly) largest newspaper.
In a gesture of solidarity with all that is sweetness-and-light and oozing political correctness, the left-leaning editorial board of the paper turned the entire edition over to one David Suzuki who is, of course, a professional ‘scold’. A scold who does extremely well via assorted grants, I might add.
The moment the even more leftist leaning managing editor in her frontispiece referred to Suzuki as a “Canadian icon” I knew I was finished. I knew the entire issue was going to be a touchy-feely-doom-is-right-around-the-corner scold from one end to the other.
Suzuki, for the uninitiated, is Canada’s answer to that failed American politician, rotund Al Gore, who is doing his damnedest to look increasingly like Michael Moore these days, who likes to lecture from his estate that is the size of Reno, Nevada on how his compatriots are failing on the environmental front. Well, Suzuki is the Canuck version. The joke being, he’s not even an environmental scientist by trade (of course, neither is Gore), but a geneticist. So, that makes him sort of a dedicated amateur, right?
Anyway, that’s quibbling on my part. My point is this. I am as concerned about the environment as the next person. And, like many others, I believe the planet is in a sorry state – some of it by our own profligate behaviors, and some of it by quite natural processes. Natural processes, by the way, don’t always unfold the way we want them to. Ask this weekend’s Midwest tornado victims about that, and they’ll agree. But, yeah, we should do a lot of proactive stuff to end our wasteful and self-indulgent ways and make it better. I’ll even make some sacrifices in that regard. Even if I don’t have children and grandchildren, I adore kids, and every time I see some little sweetie-pie playing in the park across the street I know I hope and pray the world will be OK for them all and I'll do all I can to play a part in that.
But, you know, I am a moderately intelligent guy. I don’t need a Suzuki to admonish me and fill me with his view of the world and what ‘I’ should be doing. I’m doing what I can. But, once I am lectured, I turn mean. I want to go out and burn a pile of old tires in my back yard; I want to spray my gardens with herbicides and pesticides; I want to go out and buy the biggest goddamn SUV I can get my hands on, and I want to burn 150-watt incandescent bulbs day and night.
I will do none of the above, of course, but I do have a bit of advice for the green do-gooders that obnoxiously abound these days: If you want to get the public on board, treat them with respect and care and be as inclusive as hell. They may be part of the “problem”, indeed they may be the entire “problem,” but let them be the “solution” in lieu. People will rally to a cause if you don’t persist in telling them how ‘wrong’ they are, and if you refrain from constantly trotting out the sound-bite embracing, puffed-up icons as ‘authorities’ you might actually make some headway.
Labels: icons, scolding, the puffed up
posted by Ian Lidster at
1:37 PM
6 Comments:
That octogenarian sounds a bit of a rebel, I would loved tohave known her in her younger days.
I read you loud and clear, you rules-skirter you, and react the same way, but I think professional scolders are a (somewhat) necessary evil. Religious leaders once held a similar place in the social order -- and their key role *was* social order. So now we have New Age gurus: environmentalists.
The problem with my logic is that those who most need to listen don't. They're too busy watching American Idol. I've wasted countless hours trying to figure out how to get my neighbours to do rudimentary recycling because it's just so damn easy to do! No brilliant ideas yet. Come to think of it, I haven't tried scolding... :)
I don't know Ian...I feel that a vast majority are so self-centered and going for that almighty dollar that maybe a little scolding is what they need to smarten up and take a look at their ridiculous lives. The number of people living beyond their means due to credit cards etc is enormous. It's a buy buy buy world and a great many fall for this. People need to think more about wastefulness, about buying so much junk, about destroying our natural resources etc etc. People like yourself and others who do care what happens to the planet don't need advice or scolding so you can always turn off the offending show or not read the parts that don't concern you. A great many though just don't seem to learn otherwise.
A contrarian, eh? A man after my own heart. I hate being told what to do, especially if I'm already doing it.
I don't believe people like Suzuki make much of an impression on people. Either he's preaching to the converted or he's been turned off by the rest. For some reason Suzuki annoys me too, I find him too over the top and the message never seems to change.
jmb
Remember how I was less than thrilled ot be stuck in a parenting class with someone telling me how I needed to parent, and you said that many people need to hear those messages even if I didn't. Same thing. If you are already concerned about the environment, you don't need to hear it. But so many, many other people really do. Scolding might not be the best approach, but how do you get to the people who are so self-absorbed that they will toss an aluminum can into a trash can two feet from a recycling bin?
I read this through my own filter, which you now know hates to be told what to do, or lectured at and put down for my wicked ways.
I think Gore is an opportunist who quickly rallied when he didn't get to be president, and found another way to get acclaim.
I am not familiar with Suzuki, but from what you say, I wouldn't like him either.
Approach is really important to me. I will gladly do something differently if I'm treated with respect, and if I also think the suggestion is valid.
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