Don't cry for me -- all you 'little' people

Now, be honest, do you think for a moment that a black or Hispanic woman suffering from an undisclosed ‘illness’ would be sprung from jail and sent home to finish out her sentence?

Do you think for a moment that such a woman, even if she were suffering from a severe ‘disclosed’ illness would be sprung and sent home?

If you think that, then you have a much less cynical view of the world than I or a few million other people have.

By the same token did you even think that Paris Hilton would even hear the barred door of the crowbar hotel slam behind her? Honestly I didn’t. So, when that actually happened, I must confess I was surprised and even thought for a fleeting second or so that maybe you can’t ‘buy’ your way out of this sort of a jam. Maybe there is finally a sense of justice in the system, and maybe the outrage of many people over the inequities in our society had finally had impact and they were going to make a test case out of the pampered trollop.

I was so wrong, obviously. The moment I read items about how the privileged popsy had been weeping and wailing at the injustice of it all, then I knew it would be a matter of hours before we’d learn that compassion for the tyke had prevailed and she would be going home.

And, for the rest of the babes in the LA joint the message from Paris’s lawyer, her shrink and Mommy and Daddy is clear: “Let them eat cake – or fried bologna!” “Let them move their bowels in a stainless steel crapper in full public view, but not our little Paris. She’s sensitive and suffering stress.” Isn’t stress and punishment for misbehavior kind of what jail is supposed to be about? Well, yes it is, but only for po’ folk who just simply don’t seem to learn.

So, the next time you’re in jail, follow the Paris pattern. Cry and fret, curl up in fetal position and don’t talk to anyone, get your shrink to pay you a visit and exhort him to run interference if he wants those big retainer bucks to keep on coming in, and in no time you will be back with the big-screen TV, well-stocked bar and abused Chihuahuas. Cool, huh? I’m sure it would work just as well for anybody else who is as smart as Paris.

So, I guess it’s nice that she’ll have a good weekend and can continue to set a fine example for young ladies all over the world. Too bad Lindsay’s in rehab for the 37th time, because Paris won’t have the full ‘old gang’ to go clubbing with. What? Her conditions say she won’t be allowed to go clubbing? Oops, look out! A pig just flew by.