Shorties rule -- OK?

I see where minuscule heartthrob, Tom Cruise, is evoking a certain fidgeting amongst the beancounters in the movie biz due to the fact that his MI3 isn't doing all that they anticipated it would be doing, considering the supposed bankability of the pretty dude.

But, of course, they hadn't counted on the sweetie-pie shrimp making an utter horse's ass of himself over the last year and a bit. And, they certainly hadn't counted on him alienating his primary constituents -- the female audience. Let's face it, Cruise is not a guys' actor. Guys' actors are Nick Nolte, Jack Nicholson, Bob Mitchum, Bogey, and Spencer Tracy, among others. Prior to making his boneheaded comments to Brooke Shields re postpartum depression, Virtually creaming his jeans over his passion for his little girl squeeze on Oprah, and then subsequently establishing his utter control over the hapless little thing once he impregnated her, Cruise could do no wrong with a distaff audience. My ex-wife used to get the vapors over Top Gun, and that had little to do with the airplanes.

I don't mean to be unkind here, however. I have seen Cruise do quite well in a number of films I've enjoyed thoroughly, like Rain Man, The Color of Money, A Few Good Men, etc. But, think he would be wise, finally, to just keep his mouth shut and do his job if he wants to continue with a shiny career.

But, all of the foregoing is actually off-topic, what I wanted to write about is stature. That was the primary reason for all the snide little cracks at the beginning about the runtiness of Cruise. I wrote then because that is one area with which I have some empathy. In fact, I can even feel a bit superior because I am actually a bit taller than Tommy.

When I grew to man's estate, I sometimes felt a cheated that I hadn't gotten taller. But, in being 5-foot-9 I was actually the national average for males of my generation, so I didn't feel too, too bad. And then later I was comforted to learn that such box-office primo dudes as Paul Newman and Mel Gibson were the same height as I am. And, as I said, Cruise is even shorter. Not quite so short as Mickey Rooney or Danny DeVito, and compared to 'noir' heartthrob Alan Ladd, who was about 2-foot-7, Cruise is a giant.

So, along with Napoleon, I guess Tom and I do OK. I know I'm not so short that it's an encumbrance. I can nearly fit my legs in the space in front of me on an airplane, and I don't need blocks on the pedals when I drive my car. Mind you, when I first get in after it's been serviced, I have to accept the fact the grease-monkey must have been taller than any Lakers player, since the seat is pushed back almost outside the hatchback. And, when I go to buy a pair of trousers I have to wonder who all these people are with the 42-inch legs, since that's who they seem to market to.

And for Tom, I guess there is solace in that he can look Katie right in the eye, which wasn't the case with that beanpole Nicole Kidman. My only question is, how is he going to feel when Katie gets to be the size of a grown-up in a few years?