Particular celluloid pleasures

As I was so elated by the findings of a dubious on-line poll conducted by a Canadian magazine that deduced, as a result of e-mail responses that one Pierre Trudeau was the absolutely ‘worst Canadian ever’ in the minds of their respondents, I was going to write a blog that was a long-winded “amen” to such enlightened findings. But, then I thought, such a result was so obvious (especially to those of us in the West) that there was no point in elaborating further.

So, instead I’m going to look at movies. Bubblegum for the brain is always more relaxing than biased political diatribes. People tend to believe what they believe, and there is nothing I can do about it. That’s one of the pitfalls of democracy – not everybody thinks as I do.

Anyway, movies. As I have stated before, I no longer frequent cinemas because the rude and raucous human climate in such places tends to make me depart in a state of rage and disgust. At the same time, I love movies, and there are some that have had huge impact on me as entertainments down all the years.

Rarely do I look at a film twice (much as I rarely re-read a book), but there have been some over the years that (for me) invite multiple-viewings. These are the films that have become part-of-me, and periodically I need to refresh myself with yet another look. They are not necessarily the greatest films ever in the pantheon of such, they are just particular pleasures for me, and that is why I revisit.

Here is my list of films to watch time and again. Do you have films that have drawn you back over the years?

The Caine Mutiny: Bogart’s definitive film and the one for which he deserved the Oscar more so than for The African Queen (which is also a fave). His turn as the war-weary Captain Queeg is nuanced, subtle and truthful. “And then there were the strawberries …” Also worth it to watch weasely coward Fred MacMurray get a drink deservedly flung in his face by Jose Ferrer at film’s conclusion. Never was a more fitting gesture offered.

A Man for All Seasons: Just for the underplaying of Paul Scofield, the wonderful overplaying of Robert Shaw as Henry VIII, and the music and the whole essence of Tudor England with its pastoral beauties and sheer terrors. A tale of a man with genuine courage of his convictions; something that has always been too rare in our notables as well as the common human being.

American Graffiti: The summer of ’62 in a small town in Northern California. I was in those same towns in the summer of ’61. with the same wonderful music, the same hotrods, the same pretty girls, and even the drive-in with the servers on skates and listening to Wolfman Jack on the radio. It was reliving my youth through Ron Howard as he began his transformation from Opie to Ritchie Cunningham, to movie mogul. AG still works. Easy Rider doesn’t, despite Nicholson and superlative soundtrack, it looks cornball and dated.

Born Yesterday: Judy Holliday at her absolute funny finest as Billie Dawn, the bimbo married to the corrupt junk-dealer lobbyist in DC, played by Broderick Crawford. It’s essentially Pygmalion re-rendered, and enhanced by the cast. Holliday won the Oscar for this. She deserved it.

Vertigo: My favorite Hitchcock because it is so difficult to figure out. It actually demands multi-viewings. Jimmy Stewart as crazed fetishist suffering from acrophobia is so far removed from some of his homespun roles that you will find yourself enchanted. Kim Novak. Beautiful woman, never a ‘great’ actress. But Hitch brings out her absolute best in this. Easy to understand why the Stewart character fell for her so profoundly.

Anatomy of a Murder: This one has so much going for it. Stewart (again) back to crusty, as a small-town attorney dealing with a murder in upstate Michigan. The acting is brilliant, and the cast also includes (my often aforementioned) Lee Remick as a charming bimbo military wife given to hanging around bars, who must give certain testimony that includes discussion of her (ahem) undies. Watch Stewart’s lawyer handle this. Cast also includes George C. Scott and Ben Gazzara in their earliest movie roles, and the inimitable Duke Ellington as the bar’s pianist. Stewart is a jazz buff, so he and Duke have a fine bond. And finally, Joseph Welch, the real judge in the Army-McCarthy hearings of 1954 who said to slimy red-baiting senator Joe McCarthy at the hearings’ conclusion: "Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?" Wish somebody would have the chutzpah to say this to some of our current political creeps. Anyway, this non-actor had a brilliant turn as the judge in the tale. Inspired casting.

A Christmas Carol: This one has been watched every Christmas since I was about 12. Alastair Sim as Scrooge? There has never been another version worth watching. He’s like Robert Newton as Long John Silver inTreasture Island Don’t bother remaking either, they’ve been ‘done’ by the best.

Chinatown: Have seen it four or five times, and always find something new. Cinema Noire done in a more modern era but with all the trappings. In my esteem the best Nicholson turn, and there have been many fine ones.

I couild belabor this more, but will refrain. I also notice that all my choices are vintage offerings. Does this mean that movies are worse than ever? Maybe. Maybe it was just that films had more impact on my life at an earlier time. Maybe it’s also because via the blessing of the DVD, I also own the aforementioned.

Anyway, would love to hear about yours.

And what about Arnold, may I ask?

OK – I’ll admit it. I didn’t watch the Oscars last night. In fact, I hadn’t seen any of the nominated films, so why bother? Anyway, I felt that since Paris Hilton wasn’t nominated, there was no point. Then I learned the Oscars were for ‘acting’ not ‘acting out.’

But seriously, I lost interest in the Oscars when Arnold Stang (pictured here with Frankie) missed being nominated for his tour de force as ‘Sparrow’ in The Man With the Golden Arm in 1955. No, that wasn’t really serious, but Stang was good. Watch and you’ll see what I mean.

There are two reasons why I don’t watch the Oscars and haven’t done so in I cannot remember how long. They are:

1. All the Oscars are is a big in-house (I was going to say ‘circle jerk’ but my intrinsic politeness made me refrain) love-in. They are not really a reflection of critical esteem or film quality. Academy members, not critics or the public undertakes the voting. And, Academy members in a certain category by their designation can only vote for others in that same designation. At least, that is what Kim Cattrall told me a number of years ago, and I suspect she would know. So she, for example, as an actress, can only vote in the actress category, she cannot vote for best actor. So, if somebody Kim had brawled with in the past was up for a nod, she wouldn’t get Kimmie’s vote, in all likelihood. That’s just plain silly.

I don’t go to the movies. I believe God invented DVDs for a reason, and that was to keep cranky guys like me away from movie houses. I think the last two movies I ever saw were Saving Private Ryan (not a well-known fact that Tom Hanks won World War Two), and Titanic. If you haven’t seen it, the ship sinks. That one was redeemed by Kate Winslet, but not much else.

I quit going to the movies because I no longer found it a pleasant experience, but one that brought out my more hostile instincts. Why would I want to sit in a venue in which movie house operators scour the streets and then populate their venues with the rudest people they can possibly unearth. Movie audiences that used to be in raptures with what was unfolding on the silver screen now seem to be nasty, boorish, loud, inconsiderate and just not the sort of company with whom I want to be stuck being only an armrest away from. They talk; they answer cellphones; they present their stupid critiques of plot lines and they are forever going back and forth to pick up further drums of ersatz popcorn or enough milk-duds to provide confections for the population of Somalia.

And movies are so loud. Why are they so loud? I assume most people there can hear, so why should the (generally bad) music, and (generally bad) dialogue be hearable in the next town?

Sometimes I think about going to a movie. And then I find my crankiness (if I’ve so decided) increases as the day of the movie approaches. When that day actually arrives I am in such a pout about it all, there is no point in going.

Don’t get me wrong. I love movies. There are good movies, and there are even ‘great’ movies (not so much this year, from what I read), and there are movies that I have seen over and over again on TV or DVD.

In that context, I do recognize that watching a DVD version is not the same thing as seeing it all on the big screen. But, I want to then see it on the big screen in one of the cinema palaces of yesteryear. Those wonderful venues with their chandeliers and plush seats were part of the overall experience. Those crappy little multiplexes at the mall do not make it. They offer little improvement over a DVD offering. Added to which, my home isn’t populated by boorish louts, like the multiplex will be.

A final point in favor of renting a movie, I think stems from the number of occasions in which we have sat and perused a recent offering and then said: “Glad we didn’t pay real money to watch this sucker on the big screen.”