No-no-no, it ain't me, Babe

I’ve had a borderline exhausting week so far and it’s only Wednesday. I think today is going to be devoted to ‘me’ if all goes as it should. I need and want that to be so.

On Monday evening at dusk I looked out the front window and saw a sky that astonished me in the power and impact of its beauty. I truly realized what a blood-red sky – un ciel ‘incarnadin’ – could look like. I rushed to get my camera, assuming that my little digital could never do the job of actually capturing this. To my delight and gratitude, it did a rather fine job. Voila!

Viewing that sky also did a rather fine job on me, soul-wise.

Back to the beginning. When I say the week has been exhausting, I don’t mean it’s because I’ve had to “tote dat barge” or “life dat bale” except, perhaps, metaphorically.

The key to successful counseling – a fact to which other counsellors, shrinks, etc. can attest – is to take no ownership of the woes of the one seeking your professional help. I’ve done this gig off and on for nearly a decade and I think, ahem, I’m pretty good at it. But, this week involved a couple of people that tested the limits of being dispassionate and sitting back sage-like rather than saying: “What in the fuck do you think you’re doing to your life? Stop whining and start working to fix what has to be fixed rather than wallowing in ‘poor me’ stuff!”

Of course, I did none of the above, but assumed the nodding-knowingly pose as a relatively young lady told me the tale of a 15-year addiction to cocaine that is effectively ruining her health and could lead to an early demise. She is frightened, and I understand why.

Anyway, I shall tell no more about her for the sake of protecting her privacy, but it was one of those things in which I had to think: “There but for the grace of God, etc.” Her world is closing in and she doesn’t really understand why. I do, but I can only suggest. The rest is up to her. It’s up to all of us to do likewise with our own lives.

So, back to my sunset and my delight in that simple manifestation of power. There was a time in my life where I never truly noticed such things, so caught up was I in ‘me’. I might have given a glance, but it would have assumed no magnitude.

Yet, the time came, albeit through a lot of self-work, and a little help from others, that my perspective changed. I think part of what happens is natural. As the years pass many of us develop an ‘I don’t give a damn’ attitude to the greater world, and an appreciation for the more natural manifestations of life. Human affairs are something over which I have no control. In the US you are having an election next week which will impact the well-being of the globe. It might be a good impact, or it might not be. Furthermore, I know how I would like to see it come out. But, the fact remains, I have no control over the outcome, so I won’t get exercised about it. At one time I would have raged if what happened hadn’t been to my liking. But, no more. What’s the point? I have (I hope) learned to ‘accept the things I cannot change.’

The economy is currently tanking, largely due to greed and human frailty. What is happening to my meagre retirement investments? I don’t know. But, I have no power to control an economic debacle, so all I can do is cherish what I have and know that I am better off than many.

Meanwhile, it is autumn. As I have recounted before, I don’t much like the fall in that it leads to winter. But, the Japanese Maple on the front lawn is superlative this year, and that means a lot to me. That says so much.