Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Notes on 'nice'

“Nice guys finish last,” quoth Leo Durocher.

I suspect he was right.

So is a ‘nice’ guy the same entity as a ‘good’ guy? I don’t really think so. Nelson Mandella is a good guy because of what he’s done with his life. Good guys ‘accomplish’ and they might quite possibly be nice as well. But not necessarily so.

Mother Teresa was, by most accounts, a pretty good person. But she wasn’t always especially nice. And Albert Schweitzer was purportedly arrogant, bombastic, self-righteous and a bit of al all-round shit, but that doesn’t detract from the good he did, hence rendering him a good man.

So, what is the exact meaning of the word ‘nice’? We use it with such regularity in so many context, maybe we should have a handle on it. Problem is, there are many meanings, and assorted nuances that render nice difficult to pin down. Here’s what my online dictionary has to say:

nice
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(n s)
adj. nic·er, nic·est
1. Pleasing and agreeable in nature: had a nice time.
2. Having a pleasant or attractive appearance: a nice dress; a nice face.
3. Exhibiting courtesy and politeness: a nice gesture.
4. Of good character and reputation; respectable.
5. Overdelicate or fastidious; fussy.
6. Showing or requiring great precision or sensitive discernment; subtle: a nice distinction; a nice sense of style.
7. Done with delicacy and skill: a nice bit of craft.
8. Used as an intensive with and: nice and warm.
9. Obsolete
a. Wanton; profligate: "For when mine hours/Were nice and lucky, men did ransom lives/Of me for jests" Shakespeare.
b. Affectedly modest; coy: "Ere . . . /The nice Morn on th' Indian steep,/From her cabin'd loop-hole peep" John Milton.

Want to play a mental game with ‘nice’? Just repeat the world to yourself a number of times in a row, and it will sound weirder and weirder.

And, of course, since ‘nice’ is so essentially neutral in impact as in “Nice car, Fred.” Not wonderful, not exotic, not breathtaking, just plain old nice. In fact, sometimes ‘nice’ is so lacking in impact that it seems inappropriate:

“How was your date with Cameron Diaz, Bob?”
“Oh, it was nice.”
“Huh?”

“What’d you think of the Taj Mahal?”
“Nice.”

But, sometimes, with the appropriate emphasis the neutral can be turned into a superlative.

“Hoo-wah, she’s nice!” says the man when somebody excruciatingly fine has crossed his line of vision. He doesn’t just mean she is nice, he means he (men being pigs and all) would immediately chuck all he holds dear in life for a few minutes of carnality with this vision of pulchritude.

Nice is also well-suited to sarcasm, as in “Nice shot, Fred,” when Fred’s ball has sailed directly into a water hazard on the 14th hole.

So, back to Leo Durocher, do nice guys finish last?

Well, in baseball context, Babe Ruth was good, but also dissolute, and generally speaking far from being nice. Lou Gehrig, on the other hand, was both good and nice, but died early, so in a way he didn’t finish up so well. He did get to have a horrible wasting disease named after him, but that’s not the sort of fame most folks seek.

So, I guess niceness is no guarantee of success but, you know, it may be a source of some personal satisfaction in terms of our relationships with others to be regarded as ‘nice.’

On the other hand, there is no more depressing statement directed at a teenage boy by a pretty girl for whom he has declared his grand passion than: “Gee, Ralph, I think you are the nicest guy I know, but, I’m going to go and have sex with sleazy Herman who insults me, beats the crap out of me when he’s drunk, and is one of the most inconsiderate guys in town. He is sooooooo cool."

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15 Comments:

Blogger Hermes said...

I have lost girls to not-so-nice guys. On retrospect, I was lucky to have lost them. It saved me from having to get rid of them later on. Nice post.

Someone was going to say that, you know it.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Eastcoastdweller said...

Perhaps no one, at heart, is truly "nice." No man, as Cervantes wrote, is a hero to his valet.

Sometimes even the nicest person seethes with terrifying rage, explodes like a bomb or thinks the most wicked, disgusting thoughts.

2:35 PM  
Blogger laughingwolf said...

nice job, eh, ian? :P lol

[covers a multitude of sins, that]

3:53 PM  
Blogger jmb said...

Wonderful explanation of this word, Ian, with the perfect denouement. It gave me a big chuckle.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Janice Thomson said...

Nice like a lot of words is overused too because it's an instant reply without really having to say much - good or bad.

10:42 PM  
Blogger geewits said...

Nice.

Actually, there's a certain way you can say it that makes it sound really good. It has two syllables and is long and drawn out. But yes, it's great for sarcasm, as in:

"The company is not giving bonuses this year, but is giving everyone a canned ham."

"Well that's real nice of them."

11:38 PM  
Blogger Laura Jane Williams said...

I always make a point of talking to the nice guys. Just because.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

No, I really mean it is a nice post and not just neither good nor bad post.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Dumdad said...

Are all people from the French city of Nice nice people?

8:44 AM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

I feel the way about the word "fine" the way you feel about the word "nice".

8:48 AM  
Blogger Liz Dwyer said...

That last paragraph has me in stitches! Unfortunately, isn't that how it always seems to work out? Some girls never want the guys that are too nice until they grow up and figure out that the nice ones are the keepers. So really, the nice guys aren't finishing last, are they?

Come to think of it, "nice" is really a way of describing polite neutrality. It's politically correct. I think an adjective equivalent should be "interesting".

1:43 PM  
Blogger Leslie Hawes said...

I am going to say this, but am throwing up in my mouth a little as I do it...

Have a nice day :)

5:47 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My favorite "nice' joke:

Two southern belles are sitting in rocking chairs on the porch of the antebelum mansion.

Ana May says," See all thoses horses over there in that paddock? My daddy bought them all for me so show me how much he loves me."

Mary Beth says,"How nice."

Ana May says, " I just love this silver tea service. My daddy brought this back from France, just for me."

Mary Beth says, "How nice."

Ana May asks, "So what has your daddy done for you?"

Mary Beth answers, "He sent me to a real nice finishing school in New Orleans."

Ana May asks, "So what did youlearn there?"

to which Mary Beth replies, "Well for one thing, they taught me to say 'How nice' instead of 'F..k you."

1:44 PM  
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4:30 AM  

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