All this and Teresa too

So, have you ever faked it?

No, this is not one of those TMI questions about your personal life – that’s something that should rest with you and whatever significant other might have been involved in the process – this is a question about whether you have faked knowledge of something about which you know nothing.

The thought came from an article I read by a guy who had not been caught up in the Harry Potter mass-appeal insanity, who said he had never read any of the HP tomes, nor did he have any intention of every reading any of the HP tomes.

At the same time, he had read enough ‘about’ those old HP tomes to be able to speak authoritatively and sound like he was very familiar with the milieu. So far he’s gotten away with it.

So, have you ever pretended to have read something that you’ve never even glanced at or had any intention of ever doing so, what with life being short, or the grass needing cutting, or something similar?

Have you ever joined in conversation about a certain movie that really isn’t your cup-of-tea, mainly because everybody else is nattering away about its wonderfulness, and how it puts Citizen Kane to shame, and so forth?

In my case my problem is, and I’ll admit it, somewhat grudgingly, that I am a contrarian. I don’t like being told what I should like or dislike. I especially don’t like to be told to get on some trendiness bandwagon.

I’ll cite an example. When the first Godfather film came out I fought like a demon to avoid seeing it. My initial impulse came about when my vice-principal (I was teaching at the time) suggested what a cinematic masterpiece Godfather was. I thought, uh-huh. This comes from a bozo about whom it would be impossible for me to have less respect. Hence, the Godfather must be a piece of execrable shit. Then everybody else was chatting about this Coppola masterwork, glowing reviews were written, Oscars were handed out. I just dug in my heels even more, suggesting to myself “I utterly refuse to see this film – ever!”

But then I weakened in time, and I began pretending I’d seen it, just for the sake of being in the loop. “Oh yeah, the Jimmy Caan scene at the tollbooth – right.”

Eventually I weakened even more and when it came out on VHS I rented it. I thought it was pretty good. I even saw Godfather II, and thought it was pretty good, too. I just didn’t want to be told to see it.

I did the same thing with the novel Catch-22. I mastered the idea of what the title meant, and chatted amiably about the characters, but probably didn’t read it until a decade after it was published.

So, what about you? Or is it just me?

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And now, on a sadder note. I am distressed that I haven’t read any lengthy bits of journalistic grievance on the demise of Teresa Brewer. That’s too bad. I think she was worth more than a tiny sidebar.

But, that’s mainly because I remember who she was. She was a tiny singer with a great big voice. She looked like a darn cute little pixie, and then she would belt out:

“Put another nickel in …
In the nickelodeon …
All I want to hear from you is music-music-music!”

Yep, when they made little Tessie they broke the mould.