Life isn't all roses, you know

I know people who, on a daily basis, make out a 'gratitude list', in which they write down all the things for which they, on that day, are grateful. It's a nice idea, you know, positive-thinking and all that. And there is no question that I have many things in my life for which I am immensely grateful, and the mere fact they are part of me makes me feel blessed.

But, there is also a need for balance, for reality in our lives. Sometimes I think we in contemporary society have too much of an impulse to seek only "happy endings" to everything, rather than preparing ourselves to go face-on with those other realities -- the crappy ones. Life is, after all, a trade-off. There must be a 'yang' to our 'yin' or we wouldn't be strong enough to cope.

Bearing that in mind I, in a spirit of public blogger service, am about to help those who don't seek to be wrapped up in puffy cotton, some of the things we must contend with -- things that demand we expand our coping resolve. Don't worry, they can only make you stronger and firmer in your resolve to never let the bastards grind you down.

I have my 'things', you have yours, so it behooves you to create your own list. But, as follows are the irritants that for me make life seem just a little bit less blessed, but in confronting or enduring at least, render me a stronger individual, rather than just merely pissed-off. No, these are not things that are so bad that they would tempt me to 'go postal', just little, less than charming things and circumstances: (these are in no particular order)

* We all hate fingernails scraping on a blackboard. This is a universal, primal detestation, so I though I would include it as the kickoff item.

* Snoring bedmates; snoring people in the next room; the next house; in extreme cases, one street over.

* Accidentally blocking the toilet in somebody else's house, with the anxiety level rising proportionately if it is the toilet of a new love, your boss, prospective parents-in-law, or if the toilet just will not stop running and the water level is rising ominously.

* Being unable to remember the events of the "night before."

* Slopping coffee, tea or a drink directly onto your crotch area.

* Having to provide a 'specimen'. Having to produce one in the doctor's office because you forgot to bring one with you. Having to hand that specimen to a nurse who turns out to be someone you had a huge crush on in high school or college.

* Stubbing your toe, biting your tongue or cheek, bumping your head. No dignity here, just excruciating pain.

* Waiting up for someone who should have been home hours earlier.

* Responding to the smile or wave of somebody fantastic looking on the street only to find, to your mortification, their wave was directed at the person behind you.

* Parking your car in a rough neighborhood, returning to it at 2 a.m. to find a tire has gone flat, then being offered assistance by an individual who looks like he was rejected by the Hell's Angels for appearing too morally depraved.

* Being caught in traffic gridlock and really, really having to pee.

* Nearing the end of a four lane highway stretch only to find you are stuck behind an oil-burning '57 Rambler or the largest RV ever manufactured, that is being driven by the oldest guy on record who still possesses a driver's license.

* Being in unrequited love. This is almost as distressing as being the object of somebody else's unrequited love.

* Flashing red and blue lights in the rear-view mirror, or a cop car going in the opposite direction that makes a U-turn on the highway immediately after you pass by knowing well you were going at least 20-per over the posted speed.

* Arriving in Levis and sweatshirt and realizing everybody else is in formal.

* Motel bathrooms with walls so thin you can hear somebody tearing off toilet paper in the abutting bathroom in the next unit. Also, motel bedrooms with equally paper-thin walls that abut other bedrooms.

* The sounds of sirens at any time, but especially at 3 a.m. They can only mean something bad has happened to someone.

* Virtually all governments, at any level.

* Virtually all bureaucrats at any level -- the lower on the food chain, the worse they are.

* High school reunions. Just plain evil.

*Lifestyle questionnaires that indicate you should have died five years ago.

What are some of yours? Everybody else is itching to know.