Songs in the Key of Crap

One of the Vancouver newspapers has been running a public poll designed to ascertain what are the most hated hit songs of all time in the eyes (and ears) of their readers. You know, those ditties and performers that offer up such crud that you immediately change radio stations or hit the skip button on the CD player; those items of dreck that often defile a compendium CD; those bits of poop that have almost invariably won Oscars or Emmys, though nobody understands why since the hearing of which is inclined to send people running screaming from the room.

As follows are the ones the newspaper has chosen:

America: A Horse with No Name
Barry Manilow: Mandy
Billy Ray Cyrus: Achy Breaky Heart
Captain and Tenille: Muskrat Love
Celine Dion: (Yuk, personal editorial comment) My Heart Will Go On (and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on ……………….)
Dan Hill: Sometimes When We Touch
Debby Boone: You Light Up My Life
Eddie Murphy: Party All the Time
Helen Reddy: I am Woman
Lionel Ritchie: Hello
Morris Albert: Feelings
Richard Harris: MacArthur Park
Rick Dees: Disco Duck
Rupert Holmes: Escape (the Pina Colada Song)
Terry Jacks: Seasons in the Sun
Tony Orlando and Dawn: Tie a Yellow Ribbon
Wang Chung: Everybody Wang-Chung Tonight
Whitney Houston: I Will Always Love You
Zagar and Evans: In the Year 2525
Ohio Express: Yummy Yummy Yummy

OK, those are theirs. Cannot disagree with one of them, but I will happily add some songs and performers of my own to round out the list. Here are mine:

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder: Ebony and Ivory (They both should have been so ashamed, especially Mr. Wonder.
Bobby Goldsboro: Honey. (El puko. Honey should have been so glad she died)
Kokomo: The Beach Boys (They should have been even more ashamed. Help me Rhonda, or anybody)
The Beatles: O-bla-di etc. (A throwaway at the height of their popularity with one of the most appalling rhymes ever.
Paul Anka:: She’s Having My Baby (vomit-inducing treacle)
Don McLean: American Pie (Once played was plenty, twice is wretched excess. Even McLean hates it)
The Doors: The End (pretentious and hideous offering by pretentious and hideous Jim Morrison)
Simon and Garfunkle: Bridge Over Troubled Water (So sweet, so sickly sweet, but admittedly less sophomorically patronizing than Sounds of Silence.
ABBA: Virtually everything
Fifth Dimension: Up Up and Away (this is truly a radio-station changer for me)
USA for Africa: We are the World. (self congratulation at its vilest by a bunch of very rich white folks)
Joni Mitchell: Virtually everything
Gordon Lightfoot: Virtually everything with the exception of If You Could Read My Mind
The Tokens: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (it should have been The Lion Eats Tonight, then we would never have been forced to hear it for a second time)
Dion: Abraham, Martin and John (treacly faux liberalism by the guy who once offered us gems like Teenager in Love)
Phil Collins: Anything post-Genesis
Neil Sedaka: Calendar Girl
That horrible instrumental Music Box thing that keeps repeating the same nauseating refrain forever. Blessedly, I can’t remember the exact name of it.
Finally, absolutely everything by the stinking-rich, toad-like Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Now that I am getting on a roll here, I better quit because, like Celine, I could go on and on and on.

So, your turn. Tell me your most loathed songs or music pieces.