The 'Dog' days of last September

I find it ironic that Duane (Dog the Bounty Hunter) Chapman was recently nailed for having done exactly what he and his wonderfully exotic (as in turning trailer-trash into high art) crew apprehend other bad guys for doing – jumping bail.

When Dog got caught and locked up (for a brief time) my heart went out in a weird way to a guy maybe didn’t quite live up to ‘all’ his responsibilities, but did at least mean well. However, a past that includes a few years’ experience as a convicted felon probably tends to carry its little residuals within a fellow, prompting him to think: “Fuck them! They can’t push Dog around. I’m a folk hero so I can make my own rules.”

But, like you and me, he found out that he couldn’t. He is going to be forced to bite the bullet on a matter that he maybe should have settled a few years ago. Whatever the case, I hope he makes out OK. Personally, I like him. I mean, I am not a big fan of the TV show that runs it seems almost constantly in an everplaying loop on A&E. I like him because I have a bit of a connection with the dude. Not professionally, just by contact.

It all goes back to a point a little over a year ago, when the world was maybe a brighter place, and Dog walked the streets a free man.

"What I want to see in Waikiki," said my wife "is Dog the Bounty Hunter."
She made the comment – a jocular comment, I think -- on a September, 2005 flight from Vancouver to Honolulu.

Since we only had a week to spare in the islands, we had decided to do it in a little bit of style, and had booked our time at the almost cliché Mecca of the Hilton Hawaiian Village Resort. It was off-season so the room rate was surprisingly reasonable, considering the venue, and the quality of our room. Damn, it was nice. I think of that glorious king-size bed and luxuriant duvet in the manner a lesser man might think of a beautiful and accommodating woman. Well, so would I think that about the woman, too, but you get the idea that the room was real nice.

Once we’d gotten established, and were on our first cocktail hour walk back from the beach, Wendy said, “You know, I think it would really be fun to see Dog. You know, he lives here, and sometime when we’re wandering around, we just might see him.”

I’m not sure how serious she was about this, and the odds were against her. But, for some reason the saga of Duane 'Dog' and Beth Chapman's 'Da Kine' Honolulu-based bail-bond service had piqued her interest. Not that she was a particular fan, but just because it might be fun to see this bizarre guy we’d watched on TV a couple of times. In truth it was just one of those things that cross your mind when you are in such a place. In the old days in Waikiki, it would have been Don Ho. In Vegas, it would be Wayne Newton.

Anyway, I thought her chances actually seeing Dog were pretty remote. Honolulu/Waikiki is a big town; sort of Vancouver or Seattle in the middle of the Pacific. Although, I admit, I once did actually see Don Ho crossing Kalakaua Avenue, so it was possible.

Dog Chapman is a colorful combo of living theatre and driven commitment to justice all rolled up in a kindly, yet gruff, staunchly Christian, ex-biker, ex-felon in a muscle shirt, tattooed-to-the-max, and sporting of the most awesome mullet to be seen this side of Bogalusa, Mississippi. There, that should be adjectives enough.

Dog first became generally known to the world when he and his son, Leland (whom Dad affectionately refers to as 'Young Blood') successfully nailed Max Factor heir Andrew Luster in Mexico, for which feat his business was to share in a million dollar purse. They got Luster -- who had fled bail on assorted murder charges -- but were caught by the Mexican authorities and threatened with about 800 years imprisonment. He and Leland, however, managed to get back to the US side of the border and escaped prosecution.

Until now, that is. For the above case is exactly the one he has been nabbed for, and for which the Mexican authorities want him extradited. But, to continue.

A&E found this colorful ex-rogue an interesting soul, and developed a reality TV series around him. An extremely popular TV series that has earned this ex-con a hell of a lot of money.
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Now, as it happened, and quite amazingly, in her desire to 'interface' with this folk hero, Wendy was actually to attain her wish. As follows is how it all came about.

During our stay at the Hawaiian Village, a number of conventions were taking place. I don't know how people who labor in certain fields manage to secure a 'field-trip' to Hawaii, but some obviously do. One such convention happening at our digs was the AAMT's bun fight. For the uninitiated, like we were, the AAMT is the American Association for Medical Transcriptionists.
Don't ask me what they do.

Anyway, one Thursday afternoon about 2:45, I was riding the elevator down from our 17th floor room when I overheard a conversation between two women in the lift. They were talking about the closing session of the AAMT confab, which was destined to take place at 3 p.m. One mentioned to the other who the guest speaker was: "You know that bizarre guy from TV, Dog
the Bounty Hunter."

I needed to hear no more. When I reached the lobby, I pushed the 17th floor button and went back to our room and told Wendy the news. I then suggested that we go down to the huge ballroom whence the session was to be held, and she just might get a chance to see her 'hero' walk into the room. And so we did.

When we arrived at the door to the ballroom we were, to our amazement, pleasantly requested to go inside and have a seat. At that moment we became, I guess, honorary members of the AAMT, since nobody questioned our presence there. In itself an amazing happenstance for America's security-obsessed society, but what the hell. We didn't question it. Eventually, Dog came in, and he spoke -- very articulately I might add, his level of elocution belied by his aged biker-boy costuming -- and we thoroughly enjoyed the interlude.

His presentation also belied his appearance. It was thoughtful and took heed of those who had asked him to speak, noting that he, like they were, was in a “caring” profession. Nabbing bail-jumpers wasn’t a matter of being one tough sonofabitch out to get bad guys, but a matter of giving unfortunate souls a chance in life. By God, the guy is really a big softie, attaining most of his ‘street-creds’ from his intimidating appearance and garb, not to mention true-life experience as a one-time bad guy, but not from abusing those he sets out to apprehend.

The calling is a dangerous one, no doubt. It is also a lucrative one, and if he has become the sort of cause-celebre of bail bondsmen in the islands, much as the fictitious Magnum did for private eyes, it was obvious that Duane Chapman didn’t mind the notability one little bit.

Ultimately it proved to be time entertainingly well spent. But, regardless of that, at the end of the session I was also able to turn to Wendy and say: "This time, you owe me big-time."

Actually I got my special treat a few days later when I just happened to espy the excruciatingly attractive Evangeline Lilly, who plays very bad girl ‘Kate’ on the series Lost, also filmed on Oahu. So, I guess we were kind of even.