Aloha -- Oyyy

Only three more sleeps, as the silly cliché goes. But, that is the tally as of this writing before the day in which we take off for Kauai. Not such a bad idea. This is despite the fact I’m dreading the flight. Not that I am afraid of flying – at least no more than any terrestrially bound creature who is unnaturally screaming along at 500 miles per at a place 35,000 feet above the firmament – but because of all the bullshit that has turned an airplane journey into a veritable nightmare of inconvenience and abuse by often very, very stupid people.

Remember when flying used to be fun? I do. While I never became a member of the infamous ‘Mile High Club’, a very comely flight attendant once overtly propositioned me. I tend to dine out on that one a lot.

Anyway, Hawaii, and specifically Kauai. This is a place that has always worked for me. Wonderful climate (considered the best in the world), scenery that is almost sexual in its lushness, azure and warm waters, tropical fish, the din of birdsong, and on Kauai, no mongooses (mongeese?) thank God, and tons of chickens everywhere. The chickens are mainly the result of Hurricane Iniki, which devastated the island in 1992. Aside from trashing literally thousands of residences and commercial properties, the big storm also liberated flocks galore of bantam-sized chickens. They then ‘intermarried’ with the wild jungle fowl of the island, and their numbers simply proliferated. They go where they choose, and nobody seems to mind much. It’s all good.

I first visited Hawaii back in 1983. I had never really wanted to go. In my biased view it had to be something like Vegas in the mid-Pacific; an entity entirely built around tourism and it surely must be as vulgar as that desert haven to gambling and other excesses. But, that summer my ex-wife and I wanted to go ‘somewhere’ and were at a loss in terms of destination. I suggested Hawaii, just to see what it was like. I thought I’d hate it.

I loved it. The moment I stepped off the plane and felt that velvety air and smelled the blossoms I know I was at an enchanting place. That first year we just did Waikiki; a spot that actually has many more virtues than deficits. Later on I visited assorted other islands: Maui, the Big Island of Hawaii, and ultimately, in 1989, Kauai. I decided then and there that this was ‘my place.’

Kauai is exquisite at virtually every level other than traffic wise – the flow ain’t swift. There is only one main road that goes around about 80% of the island, from the far western dunes and aridity of Polihale, and then around the island counterclockwise to the lush jungle of Haena and Kee at the far northwestern end. Ironically, Polihale and Haena are only about 18 miles apart.

We stay near to the town of Kapaa on the eastern shore. It works for us because it’s a sort of half-way point, and not too far from the ‘big smoke’ of Lihue, whence the planes come and go.
I have lost count of how many times I’ve been to Kauai, but suffice it to say I’ve had two honeymoons there with two different people.

One thing I have decided prior to my departure this time is that I want to make it, even if for only 10 days, a complete break. Consequently, my laptop is staying at home. I expect some agonies of withdrawal, but I think I should be able to handle it.

As a consequence, I won’t be in touch and won’t be blogging for nearly two weeks. When I get back I’ll tell you all about it. Keep the blogging faith, my dear friends.