Finding serenity -- it's a tough slog

I cannot remember where I got this bit of life philosophy musing. Perhaps it was from one of you. However, I made a point of saving it because I thought it had wisdom and should be explored further. So, that is what I am doing. I find all of the subcategories to have more meaning as time goes by and my wants and needs change.

I flippantly say in my profile that I am working on my curmudgeon certification, but this really is no longer an aspiration. I don’t want to be a cranky old bastard like my father became. Come to think of it, he was a cranky young bastard, too. At the same time, I will reserve my right to discriminate and hope I continue to recognize cant and bullshit and avoid both.

At other times I thought I might want to become a randy old goat, foisting unwanted attentions on females of my acquaintance that charm me. That is also kind of untrue. Not that I am uncharmed by females (never would be so), but I am also happy in a fine relationship that has much meaning for me. A little over a decade ago I got to play the carefree bachelor game. It was fun for a little while, but it got boring and shallow eventually. I always bear that in mind.

So, here is where I am today, on Friday, November 7th, 2008, and here is maybe where I’d like to be.

Rules of life to be aspired to

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears of past experiences -- I do have a past. Some of it was good; some of it was not so good. But, rather than be filled with fear over those past experiences, I hope I learned from them.

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment—All I have is this precise moment. Oops, it’s gone. No other period in time matters. Memories and future aspirations are just vapors and should be accorded no more import than that. I mean here, we have memories we cherish and memories that have led to the totality of what we are, but if we dwell on them, we get lost.

3. A loss of interest in judging other people – I really don’t want to care what you do, with what part or parts of your body, and with whom, as long as you don’t molest children or commit crimes. Then I do care. That is, to me, part of being a responsible and caring citizen. Otherwise, expect no moral judgments from me, although if what you are doing is really fun or scandalous, I might be titillated with your shenanigans momentarily, until they start to bore me.

4. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others – I don’t know why you do the things that you do, and I don’t want to know why. I also don’t want you interpreting my reasons for doing what I do. I may pass an internal judgment on you, but I’m not going to challenge you.

5. A loss of the ability to worry – Wouldn’t that be grand? I’m not there, but I’d like to keep working on arriving at that blessed “I don’t give a shit” place in my life. Philosophically, such an attitude has nothing to do with apathy, and everything to do with accepting the things I cannot change.

6. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation -- I have this some of the time, and sometimes I do get overwhelmed about the love of my wife, my friends, my comfort in my home, a stunning sunset, the blue of a tropical sea or even the grey North Pacific sea in these parts. My biggest appreciation is the appreciation of hope. It allows us to carry on.

7. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature – God is great/God is good/God jumped over the candlestick. Wait, that’s not how it goes. Probably by this stage of my life I do feel more genuine connectedness with the important people in my life, and certainly with nature. Hey, I’ve got bird-feeders, how much more connected could a body be? Not too crazy about raccoons, however, since I have a fishpond. Oh, and wolverines? They’re beyond the pale, though I don’t wish them harm.

8. Frequent episodes of smiling – So, I’m not quite sure what this means. Does it mean wandering around with a stupid grin all the time? People who do that creep me out. My favorite smiles are those that are exhibited by normally taciturn people. Flashing their white choppers can really light up a room. I have been told I have a ‘beautiful smile’, but I never see myself smile. I think I smirk pretty well.

9. Letting things happen instead of forcing things to happen – Oh, huge wisdom in that one mainly because things will happen the way they happen and never will if I try to force them. It’s like trying to ‘make’ somebody love you. Can’t be done.

10. A willingness to be vulnerable and show emotions—“Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve,” Mama used to tell me, usually after I had tried to make somebody love me – like Sandy in 11th grade. Frankly, I think Mama was wrong because all it left me doing was to look sardonic and unemotional regardless of what happened. I still have a hard time crying, but I can show a little grief. As for crying, Mr. Obama’s speech the other night brought me pretty close. Maybe even ‘Old Yeller’ close.

11. A giving and receiving of love without strings attached – Unconditional love is always the wisest course, and one that is very difficult to attain. I’m still working on this one.

Author unknown (Third cousin to ‘Anon’, I believe)