Don't worry -- Be happy!!
Unfortunately, the season always ends with otherwise decent folks brimming with guilt and therefore driven to resolve to mend their ways. Hence, you are left with that pointless annual ritual known as the New Year’s Resolution, and the making of those.
What is a resolution? It’s a self-indictment about our bad behaviors, and it’s a vow to rectify those things that we perceive as being harmful to ourselves or those nearest and dearest. Not in itself a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all, but generally an improbable, and sometimes impossible thing.
But, we set forth at midnight on December 31st, filled with the best of intentions and we vow that we will:
* stop smoking for the 27th time;
* stop drinking more than is good for us, or quit altogether;
* not harbor salacious or naughty thoughts about people for whom we are not supposed to harbor those selfsame thoughts;
* not act on those same salacious thoughts regardless of how provocative the temptation;
* watch our cholesterol;
* watch our waistline and weight in general;
* cut out junk food except on special occasions. Tuesdays aren’t special occasions;
* spend more time with spouse and family, and not begrudge the time;
* read the classics.
And so on. Such resolutions as the foregoing, however, are largely doomed to fail because we are not really committed to them except in the heat of the December 31st moment. Some of them don’t even make it to the end of January. I think this is the most unfortunate aspect of resolutions. We’re destined to crap-out and this saps our self-esteem. Come February we can only look back wistfully at how forthright we felt a month earlier, offer up a sigh and vow to do better after Dec. 31st, 2007.
There are a couple of alternatives to the foregoing scenario. One is to make resolutions you will have no problem keeping. Self-esteem will soar and you will get a great deal more enjoyment out of life by not being guilt-racked. Therefore, for 2007 you might consider such resolutions as the following.
For the next year I resolve:
* to not gloat insufferably when I win the lottery.
* to not involve myself in any political assassinations;
* to not develop a heroin habit;
* to have sex with my partner whenever the time seems right and passion is profound;
* to not commit any major crimes;
* to watch only those TV shows I find entertaining;
* to work only the number of hours the parameters of my job call for;
* to not go into a biker bar and utter threats at the biggest motherfucker in the place;
* to not ask my sunbathing bikini-clad neighbor to cover up on a sunny day regardless of how much she might offend my sense of propriety;
* to not kill or maim a skateboarder regardless of how irritating I might find them to be;
* to not see an image of Jesus in a dinner roll, or the face of the Virgin Mary in the tiles of a locker room floor;
* to not actually take part in perpetrating the death of or bodily mayhem on a former professional colleague, but reserving the right to want to see ill befall the scumbag, regardless. Actually, public disgrace of this man would work well, too, but now I’m getting off topic;
* to not sire any extracurricular children.
See, those ones are easy, so that represents one alternative to the resolutions conundrum.
The process is simple. You write out your good intentions; whatever number, five, ten, twenty, five-hundred. You might have the intention to, let’s say, stop smoking. Write it down in this manner: For 2007 I intend to make every effort I can to stop smoking. When that intention is joined by a few other intentions, you fold the paper up and then wait until midnight. Then, go to the fireplace or outdoors and light the paper and let it burn up while saying: “I offer these good intentions to the universe, or God, or Allah or whatever your belief system would call for you to do. When that is done, you simply let it go and let the magic of the universe manifest.
Oh, and create two copies of your good intentions just so you can check on next Dec. 31 just to see how you did.